Falling in love....

[sethjnr]

..can you stop yourself or someone else?

[beenee]

no matter how much you try, you're thoughts will just keep haunting you. i think not.

[woodpam]

Sometimes you have to try. Concentrating on someone's bad points might help in the same way that you can keep love going by overlooking the irritating things about your partner and concentrating on things you adore about them. After all no-one's perfect. If it survives your best efforts to stop it dead, you (or the someone else) can always decide to take evasive action....

[sethjnr]

Thanks guys. Guess I know what I should do, but am finding it REAL difficult. Helps to hear what you think and certainly mirrors pretty much my own thoughts. Ain't it a b1tch when it's not straight forward?!

[sethjnr]

...just wanted to clear something up having read an response to another question on this site...the woman in question is definitely NOT a minor! She's actually 15 years older than me - I'm 22. That's why (some) of the problems.

[woodpam]

If you're not in a committed relationship and she's not your brother's girlfriend, or worse, your mum's best friend, is there any harm Sethjnr? She's not exactly ancient at 37!

[sft42]

As barney said to homer " Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction if you talk to the woman you may wel find that you have nothing in common"...Love is something that develops between two people over a time spent getting to know each other in various situations and is based on mutual trust, respect and friendship.....not lust........can you stop yourself? No don't think so the heart goes where it wants....can you stop someone else falling in love with you? Easily be a complete sh!thead....ignore them, treat them like dirt and give them no respect....that should provide solitude!

[mikewith]

I'm tempted to think that the age gap is less important than the fact that one or other of the parties involved may not be completely free of romatntic entanglements at the present time...? And at such a grand old age (!) she may be married? Maybe with kids too? In which case the attachment you two feel for each other has to be stronger than a whole lot of other factors... and who knows how much her feelings for you are teempeered by the positive or negative feelings she has about her own relationship...? And IF you got it together... what wwould happen next?

Sorry if I've created a whole and incorrect scenario there -- but love is not always simple, is it?!

[darth vader]

No

next question....

[sethjnr]

Neither of us are married (she's divorced) but I have sole custody of my 4 year old daughter and I'm very cautious about how any relationship I have might affect her. So it was probably a dumb question right? But it does help to hear different opinions specially outside the family.

[ipek]

Forget the age gap - I'm 17 years older than my (3rd) Hubby and we are extremely happy. Been together 13 years.....and he was only 24 at the time we met.
I do think you are right to consider your duaghter's reactions, but even that should be OK if you are open and honest with her - kids are pretty adaptable.
Take it as it flows and enjoy the feelings....good luck!