Lies...how much is too much?

[kikadoo]

Hey guys,

A questions about lying, liars and how much is too much.

I have been thinking lately about lies (largely due to my partner telling lie after lie about small insignificant things), but do any of you put up with people telling lies? And if so, how much is too much?
Do you one day wake up and think "no more!" or do you just go with the flow?

My partner appears to be a compulsive liar about so many stupid small things. I have got to the point where I am considering leaving him because of it. To me I am at the end of the road. I am going by the good old motto...."if he's lying about this then what else is he lying about etc". Especially since we used to have such an open and honest relationship. We could literally talk about anything and not be offended, disturbed or embarrassed!

I am worried that maybe I am being too harsh and that I should just accept porkies? Even if I challenge him with outstanding evidence he'll still blindingly deny their is a lie anywhere. But on the other hand, I worry i'll one day just either believe anything he'll say or become 'numb'.
He would make a good politician. I'll give him that one!

Is/has anyone been in the same situation?

I can understand telling a few porkies but like i said, its got to the point where its just too often.

How much is too much?

Thanks all, for the help in advance! x

[kikadoo]

"If you are going to lie, then make it a big one, as then you are more likely to be believed."
I heard that before Sqad, maybe my OH should have tried it! :D

[cazzz1975]

so he has a secretive nature kikadoo, this does not mean that he will do anything major but it will mean that the situation will not change.Chances are he will always be this way especially as he is in denial of his behaviour.

[Sqad]

C'mon kikadoo, your situation is hardly unique and you have had informed advice from our posters so:

1) Kick him into touch or
2) Live with him and his "weaknesses"..................which believe it or not, we all have.

[kikadoo]

I know that Sqad.

Just good to get other peoples opinions now and again.

[karenmac60]

My ex used to lie all the time, usually to cover for himself or to manipulate me in some way. I got used to it and took most things he said with a pinch of salt. But years later I discovered he'd also been lying to all our friends about me and that really bothered me because they had believed him. If he's lying to you, who else is he lying to and what is he telling people about you and your relationship?

[Old_Geezer]

I don't beleive any of you.
And I definitely don't believe about the big bum claims without photos.

[vulcan]

Call them what you like, Fibs, White lies, etc, they're all various stages of lying. To think a small lie is partially true is like thinking
someone is partially pregnant.

[Sqad]

vulcan....LOL....A touch of pregnancy eh?"

At intervals of ...say.....8-10 weeks, someone comes on slagging of the guys and this attracts the same group (mostly divorced I might add) of women to enjoy the kill.

Same start, same middle and the very same end.

[kikadoo]

Thats actually a good thought karenmac60. I know he likes to speak about our relationship to my dad. Which feels a bit uncomfortable to tell you the truth. His friends or family, my brothers or anyone but not my dad! Lol. But they get on well so I don't mind so much. But it has got to the point where family will text me if we have had a fall out and tell me I should forget what we're fighting about and make up! So i have wondered what he tells my folks. Quite scary really! lol.

I see your point vulcan42.

And Old_Geezer, take my word for it, you can trust me on that! :P

[kikadoo]

You have this down to an art I think Sqad! lol

[Sqad]

kikadoo.........LOL......you mean the lying bit?................I can do it with a smile on my face.

[kikadoo]

Well thats good. Always smile!

Anyway guys, thanks for the advice, pointers, answers etc.

[cazzz1975]

".....I can do it with a smile on my face."

mrs s is a lucky woman ... ;)

[Craftypig]

If someone is lying to you, they dont respect you, if they dont respect you , find someone who will.

[muppeteer]

I know how you feel. My ex used to lie and exagerate about silly things. I thought it wasnt that big a deal as it was never anything important...until i found out he had lied about his age (I had to find birth records on the internet & he still lied until I told him to prove it or leave). I agreed to forgive & forget & ever mentioned it again, but it made me more aware of his inconsistencies. In the end I had had enough & ended it after 8 years. A few months later, I found out he had been married & had a child & had never told me.
I think some people just can't help themselves. They dont set out to lie- they feel they need to sound more exciting.
With others its about manipulation.
Whatever his reason is- its already enough to bother you and will only get worse over time. Don't waste years of your life like I did with somone who doesn't take you seriously enough to share their real selves with you.
Small lies may not seem a big deal, but when you put them together- it really is.
If you keep ignoring it you will regret it later

[kikadoo]

Thanks very much Muppeteer. I value what you have said. I'm sorry for what your ex did to you. Hope all is well now.