Visiting my brother

[MrsM]

Now although I only live 70 miles away from my brother I never seem to get the time to go and visit him and his family.  He keeps inviting me over and I am always rather vague, never quite giving a proper answer.  It's not that I don't love him and enjoy his company - why do you think this is?

[jno]

70 miles is quite a way. How would you get there, drive? Train? Anyway, it's something you need to plan for and to devote a day to. Often it's hard to put aside a whole day for a visit; when we have busy lives ourselves there's always something we need to do first (I guess from your user name that you have a husband at least).

If you want to try to do it sometimes, which is probably why you posted this Q, why not agree with him to do return visits, say every year or something - on each other's birthday or something like that? Then you'd have a date to put in your diary well in advance, so you'd know not to incur any other obligations those days.

[Lore]

Good idea jno - My brother lives literally in the next road and I the last time I saw him was back in April - and that was for his birthday!!  His children go to the school I work at too.

Busy busy busy is a poor excuse really but we all know that feeling of once the working day is over and you're home, nothing else matters. I think i've always had the idea in my head that he lives equally as far away as I do so why do I have to be the visitior?     I MUST make more of an effort!

[dmsjps]

Hi MrsM, it's because of the planning and organisation the visit will take - which will of course be at least a day. The trouble is, at some point in the future either you or your brother won't be around and the one who's left will wish they made more of an effort - particularly as you get on so well together - but then it will be too late.

 

Could you organise two or three days for a visit rather than a day (perhaps over a Bank Holiday weekend)? You go to his for a weekend and next time he comes to yours for a weekend. If you have a spare room to put each other up, it would make the visit more worthwhile, therefore easier to organise and look forward to.

[Tabby]

Don't think about it, just get off your bum and do it!

Love Tabby.

[flaming]

I wonder if you want to see your brother, but are not so keen on the family package? You would make the time and commitment if you really wanted to.  Only you can answer!   Why don't you meet roughly half-way at a 'tourist' place where you can all have a pub lunch, there's something for the kids to do, etc.   That way two or three hours could be a pleasurable outing for all, there's an 'escape route' for you, and you each have only 35 miles return journey. You might all like it so much you will want to plan a similar outing. 

[dmsjps]

flaming, that's a brilliant answer! My family and oldest friends live 120 miles away from me but we still always see each other when we can.