changing sons name

[lotsafun]

hi i was just wondering if i could change my sons name if i married my current partner so that we all have the same surname. I divorced my sons father 4 years ago and we havent seen him for 8 years, the only contact we had was through solisitors, he hasnt even bothered to have any contact with our son since we split 8 years ago. When our divorce was finalised i went back to using my maiden name, however my son remained with his fathers as he wouldnt allow a name change!. Ive now been with my partner for 4 years and we have since had a daughter together and she has his surname. Recently my partner brought to my attention that when we get married we will all have the same name apart from my son, which i know some may say i sound silly but that really upsets me. I dont want him to feel ''left out'' or different so was wondering if there was any way we could change it, afterall his father wants nothing to do with him, we dont even know where he lives etc. My son is 9. Thanks

[cherrychapstick]

yes your new husband has to adopt not sure if this is the right word ,hope someone with more knowledge comes along soon

[craft1948]

One of my friends had this problem and unfortunately her ex wouldn't agree even though he never saw his daughter so she was the only one of 3 children with a different name.
She changed it by deed poll when she was 18.

[ummmm]

I think you'll need the father permission.

[looby1914]

If you wanted to do it by deed poll then the father would have to give written permission for you to change the childs surname. Not sure on the adoption route but im presuming the natural father would also need to give permission for that too.

[looby1914]

Forgot to say your son could be "known as" your surname. I have done this with my son as he has his fathers surname not mine. In school and every were he has contact he is now "known as" my surname BUT legally he is written down as his birth surname.

[mrs_overall]

You can call your son by whatever surname you want.
A relative of mine was in a similar situation - she was divorced and then remarried when her daughter was 2 years old. The daughter was known by her stepfathers surname from then on.
When she came to need her first passport at the age of 16, someone in authority (I think it was the family GP) wrote a supporting letter saying that she had used the surname Bloggs for 14 years.
Her passport is in her stepfathers surname, as are all her legal docs. She is 23 now and has never had any problems over her surname.
Your hubby could adopt your son, or you could change his name by deed poll, but frankly, it is a waste of money as you don't need to.

[k8bailey]

Deed polls cost around £40 online, but if the father has parental responsibilty then you need his permission until the child is 18, regardless of when they last had contact. Also does your son want to change his name? as others have said, if your wants to change his name, and the father wont give permission or you don't want to ask, your son could adopt his step dads name for day to day things such as school but he would still be legally known by his birth name. The father would also need to give his permission if you new husband wanted to adopt your son.