Women.

[NoMercy]

Things you'll never hear them say?

"I've got too much to wear."

"I don't really like being wined and dined."

Over to you witty chatterbonkers...

[NoMercy]

OMG.

[McMouse]

I think your mother is wonderful,

[mccfluff]

and not a pretty site....

[NoMercy]

"You should really eat more garlic bread."

[Barmaid]

I'm just going to top the oil up in the car.

[bobjugs12]

anything with more than syllabuls lol :)

[NoMercy]

"There's no need to dress smartly. You're only meeting my folks."

[bobjugs12]

Oh bollx. I manged to fluff up the sexist statement by missing words out. Jesus that backfired!!

[bigfoot3000]

A relationship? No thanks Im only into dirty no strings casual sex!

[NoMercy]

"Of course you don't have to call me..."

[bigfoot3000]

An apron? No thanks I prefer doing the cooking and housework in the red and black rubber and leather stocking/suspender set you brought me.

[McMouse]

Why don't you stay on after golf and get p1ssed. I'll pick you and your friends up and take you to a lap dance place I know.

[NoMercy]

"Don't get me anything for my birthday, get yourself something nice instead."

[bigfoot3000]

"Apparently semen is choc full of fat burning and anti-aging protein and vitamins "

[NoMercy]

Valentines Day is so commercialised....