keep me strong

[OLIVIA26]

i'm trying desperately to apply the no contact to my ex. Despite loving him, i was mentally being destroyed and its for the best i ended it. its 3 weeks since i last text him, i thought i was doing ok, then he sent me a pleasant non responsive message a week later,which i ignored and now i've just received another one off him saying he just wanted to say hello, he misses me very much and thinks of me often. The bond with his kids is good but he can't get rid of them now, he hopes i'm ok , and he'll understand if i don't reply and he hopes his text hasn't upset me and love to me and my little girl. I don't know why he's not respecting my wishes when i said goodbye forever, i need to remain strong and refrain from acknowledging him yet its so hard, so any words of encouragement would help me.Ive got a bit of pmt which isn't helping im sure :( thankyou in advance

[bednobs]

why dont you block his number? Or change your number?

[redcrx]

do you not think that maybe he is finding this as hard as you are, if not harder as you ended it, and is just not as strong as you.

its a shame that you cant at least salvage a friendship but you need to do whats best for you and your child.

go out and enjoy the sunshine, leave the phone at home :)

[bigfoot3000]

Olivia what was the reason for splitting? Was he a violent bully?

[beso]

Respond to his text. Just once.

In as few words as possible tell him he never appreciated you when you were together, it is now TOO LATE and he will have to get used to it because there is nothing he can do to change this. Do not use the word "sorry".

Do not be tempted to make a second reply.

[redman41]

You have to move on OLIVIA26 ! As beso says, be strong and take steps to change your life for the better. You know full well that he was a manipulative man as your Friends saw a big change in you when you were together.
Life will get better but not by taking backward steps !

[China Doll]

Block the number.

[OLIVIA26]

hi all, bigfoot3000 he was definately not physically abusive neither mentally really. He manipulated me into believing i needed him, i ALWAYS took him back on every condition he put forward to me. I know, im a fool i hear you all say, and yes i was. I'm a shadow of my former self to quote my friends and family. I've lost weight and don't believe in myself much now. I've refrained from contacting him, i would lose control then and this is my time for healing now. i hope i've made the right decision?

[bigfoot3000]

So if he didn't abuse you mentally how did he manipulate you into thinking you needed him?

[boxtops]

Be strong olivia. You have the upper hand this time round, he's used to being able to manipulate you, you say - sounds like he thinks you might weaken if he keeps being nice, and you are worth more than that. Stick with it, change your number, block his calls. There's life out there, and it's good, and it's the spring - enjoy it.

[OLIVIA26]

bigfoot3000, i have low self esteem~ my problem i know, but i was left by by husband 4 weeks after our first born. I was looking for security and at first i got it from him but then slowly and surely he chased me saying all the right things and then i knew i loved him,but slowly the darker side emerged. He evaded taxes, he smoked dope , he didnt celebrate anything i e birthdays , xmas, easter etc, all of which i overlooked because his hug was so warming and i felt alot of love towards him. he had extreme baggaage, an abusive ex, a bi polar son, a loving but needy 16 yr old daughter and a 13yr old son who didnt speak. i left him for my own sanity but primarily for him to bond with his children~they deserve it. but in the meantime i have a wee girl whos confused as to whats going on. this man flits in and out of my life expecting me to be there. this time im not and im building myself up for my girls sake and mine. i've not been cruel to him i just know he'll keep me there for as long as is possible for once in my life i'm thinking of my family and me!

[OLIVIA26]

thanks teddy! i will google that and hope it helps. I'm really trying so VERY hard to remain strong, i feel horrible for ignoring his text, especially when it was such a nice caring text, but i'm trying to do whats right for me this time. It hurts when i think he may be thinking of me as an ignorant b***h. huh its so difficult when feelings are still involved. :(