sex at 13!

[Le Chat]

My friend has found out that her 13 yrs old son is having sex with his 14 yrs old girlfriend.
She and her husband obviously were furious and disappointed. They have now imposed strict sanctions on the son and my friend has had a chat with the girlfriend.
She has not spoken to the girlfriend's parents about this but I think they should know.
What do you think about speaking to her parents?
Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, the parents are not chavs who let their son roam the streets. He only goes out on a Sat afternoon into town with friends and girlfriend. He is a grade A student and is polite and otherwise a perfect child. He has taken his chance when her parents have been out. His girlfriend is also a sporty and otherwise normal child.

[sandyRoe]

The girl shouldn't get pregnant. The boy could always walk away if that happened. It could ruin the girls life.

[Mr Veritas]

We have to face facts here,however disagreeable they may be.
Youngsters of 13 and 14 are having sex(and yes were when I was young back in the 1920's and 30's) we didn't have effective (or even available) contraception then,and many young girls died because of botched backstreet abortions.
Nowadays hopefully we can look at this in a calm and more rational way.
It's no good being of the camp that says "They must wait until they are married" that just won't work,when these youngsters hormones get going everything else gets overlooked(like condoms).
I don't think ( for the moment) that telling the girls parents will do any good,it will only serve to (probably) drive her further into the arms (and bed) of the boy.
Personally,I would try and persuade her (if she is of age) to ask her GP to put her on the pill.I am not sure if he CAN do this,and if he can,if he has to tell the parent?
Either way,the girl needs to on some sort of contrtaception before another unwanted baby comes into the world.
Yes,ladies,the man also needs to wear a condom too,but we left everything up to the men before,and look at the World now!LOL

[Le Chat]

Thanks for your answers thus far. I will pass them on. I think her being on the pill would be a good idea yet it could also been seen as giving it all the green light...but then a pregnancy would be a terrible thing.

[poodicat]

le chat isnt it her families decision not your friends

[madmaggot]

They are already having sex so to try to stop it now would not work (shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted). The best thing would be to talk sensibly to the both of them about contraception, STDs and generally being responsible in their behavior.
They are acting as adults so they should be talked to about taking responsibility for their actions, as adults have to.

[tamirra]

Le chat, regretably we found only by pure accident that our 13 yr old daughter was sexually active, i was so very disapointed in her, as was my husband. We bought both our children up in the same way, but my daughter turned out to be the rebelious one, where my son was the total opposite, i think with children, whether its a son or daughter if they are going to be sexually active, they will do it whether you know about it or not, she put herself on the pill at 13 and luckly didnt fall pregnant until she planned too at 18, now she has the most beautiful daughter anyone would wish for, sorry i cant help you much more than putting my own situation on the board.

[Mr Veritas]

Le Chat,
I think the boy and his girlfriend saw the green light a long time ago,and have now advanced far beyond it.

[sara3]

are you asking to advise your friend, or to get involved yourself?

[AlBags]

They need to get real to the fact this is going on everwhere! It's common enough.
Parents should get together and threaten them with the police. That is one of the only things that may cause them to stop and think. They are probably quite nonchelant about it .. and think they are grown up a lot more than they really are.

[Whoever]

Of course the girl's parents should be told. Parents should have the guts to assume responsbililty for their children, even if it doesn't make them popular with them. They're not there to be their playground friends or playmates. . They're their PARENTS and should take the moral responsibility to ensuring that their young lives are not wrecked by allowing them getting into situations that they're too immature to be able to handle. Of course they won't be popular with their children. Parents aren't there to be popular with their children. They're there to bring them up as responsible young people who can make the most of their lives and their potential. If they haven't got the courage to do the right, and probably unpopular thing, they should be having children in the first place.

[tamirra]

Whoever yes i totally agree.

[boxtops]

It's not just pregnancy that this young girl has to worry about, it's conditions like Chlamydia which can have a devasting effect in later life. Condoms help prevent the spread of STIs, being on the pill won't.

[Jemisa]

What about 'The Injection' this active for 3 years, after that the young lady will be old enough to decide what she wants herself.
Get the pair of them down to the local F P Clinic. Make some phone calls, & Yes tell the girls parents its your duty.

[ummmm]

The implant.....

[jno]

pregnancy isn't the only danger: girls double the risk of developing cervical cancer

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8420690.stm

[Le Chat]

Thank you so much. My friend has talked to them both about STD's, cervical cancer and pregnancy.
She just wanted the opinions of many in this case and as I am a member here, I thought this was the best place for some good anonymous advice.
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