Quizzes & Puzzles0 min ago
Is it just me or...
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...(hate that expression by the way) are there some very "interesting" posts appearing tonight?
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When I was a youngster (before I joined the RAF), I was working as a grease monkey in a garage. I went through a spell of drinking a lot, and coming into work late. My boss got extremely fed up with this, and gave me my final warning. "Next time" he says "your late, I'll sack you".
Jesus, thinks I, I quite like this job. I don't wanna be sacked. So I made a decision to calm down. That night a mate invites me round to his for a party. I agreed, but added that I won't be drinking much. So I took round a couple of beers and a load of fruit juice. Anyway the party went on and I'd drunk my beers, and cracked on with the fruit juice.
At this point I can only assume that my fruit juice was spiked
Anyway I woke up the next morning with a very groggy head and vaugue memories of swimming in a creek (in November, at night) and playing in a park.
My first thought was "Where am I?", the second was "Who's she?", the third was "WORK!!!"
Anyway she woke up and was absolutely fine. She knew my name, and knew what time I started work. I was too polite to ask who the hell she was, so a conversaton ensued where I just refered to her as babes and sweetheart a lot.
I realised that I had to get out of there and off to work, so I made my excuses and legged it. When I got outside I realised I had no idea where I was or how to get either to work or home. So I started wandering aimlessly until I found something I recognised.
Needless to say I was late for work, and sacked.
The really annoying thing was if i'd turned left out of her house instead of right I wouldve got to work in less than a minute!
Jesus, thinks I, I quite like this job. I don't wanna be sacked. So I made a decision to calm down. That night a mate invites me round to his for a party. I agreed, but added that I won't be drinking much. So I took round a couple of beers and a load of fruit juice. Anyway the party went on and I'd drunk my beers, and cracked on with the fruit juice.
At this point I can only assume that my fruit juice was spiked
Anyway I woke up the next morning with a very groggy head and vaugue memories of swimming in a creek (in November, at night) and playing in a park.
My first thought was "Where am I?", the second was "Who's she?", the third was "WORK!!!"
Anyway she woke up and was absolutely fine. She knew my name, and knew what time I started work. I was too polite to ask who the hell she was, so a conversaton ensued where I just refered to her as babes and sweetheart a lot.
I realised that I had to get out of there and off to work, so I made my excuses and legged it. When I got outside I realised I had no idea where I was or how to get either to work or home. So I started wandering aimlessly until I found something I recognised.
Needless to say I was late for work, and sacked.
The really annoying thing was if i'd turned left out of her house instead of right I wouldve got to work in less than a minute!
-- answer removed --
ooops Bob, i hope your mates felt suitably guilty.
I once threw a party when my parents and siblings were away. My mate stayed the week and, due to work, we decided in our wisdom to hold the party the night before they returned.
Anyway long story short, the end of the night saw minis racing around front lawn, glasses of pee balanced everywhere, and my mate asleep in bath. I got everyone out of house and felt proud that Id not drunk more than a few drinks
woke up feeling awful, running late for work so we grabbed a 2ltr bottle of lilt and ate the jellys in the fridge we'd made day before.
felt sick and dizzy all day at work and kept drinking the lilt, sharing with my equally ill mate.
Left work still bad at 5pm, decided to go out of town for eve. Passed my parents on way out. 2 miles later managed to crash car, called my dad to pick us up.
Little sister came with and drank remainder of lilt (she was 7)
got home to find mum cleaning house, it was a tip, dog was being sick having been fed sweets and the video player and mums shoes had strawberry bootlaces jammed in them
then my sister throws up and everyone realises she was drunk!!!!
i got in a spot of bother
I once threw a party when my parents and siblings were away. My mate stayed the week and, due to work, we decided in our wisdom to hold the party the night before they returned.
Anyway long story short, the end of the night saw minis racing around front lawn, glasses of pee balanced everywhere, and my mate asleep in bath. I got everyone out of house and felt proud that Id not drunk more than a few drinks
woke up feeling awful, running late for work so we grabbed a 2ltr bottle of lilt and ate the jellys in the fridge we'd made day before.
felt sick and dizzy all day at work and kept drinking the lilt, sharing with my equally ill mate.
Left work still bad at 5pm, decided to go out of town for eve. Passed my parents on way out. 2 miles later managed to crash car, called my dad to pick us up.
Little sister came with and drank remainder of lilt (she was 7)
got home to find mum cleaning house, it was a tip, dog was being sick having been fed sweets and the video player and mums shoes had strawberry bootlaces jammed in them
then my sister throws up and everyone realises she was drunk!!!!
i got in a spot of bother
I was on a course a few years back, with some guys from all over the country. It was a fairly long course and we were a tight group. So when one of the lads announced he was getting married one weekend (he'd kept that one quiet) we decided to throw him a stag party. I organised the pub and the stripper, whilst the others sorted out the rest of the details.
Anyway, come party night we all had a quite a few beers and we were teasing the groom about the fact that we'd booked him a male stripper (we hadn't but he didn't know this). Anyway, the stripper pitches up with her bouncer, and this was who the groom thought was his 'treat'. He got really arsey and storms off in a huff. Seconds later the real stripper comes in. We all take turns trying to get the groom inside but he cries off saying he just wants 5 minutes alone. Anyway the stripper decided to do the show for a willing volunteer instead.
Being the noble forward, i took the bullet for him and had the dance. The groom decided that he had had enough solitude so he came back in to see a stunning blonde gyrating away on top of me. How gutted was he when she said she done what she was paid for, and was now going home. How very gutted was she when she gave me her phone number as she left!
Although karma is a bitch. By the time I got back to my room I was soooo drunk that I passed out naked in a shower (with the water on) and used an entire barrack blocks (40ish people) hot water supply. I was very popular the next day :)
Anyway, come party night we all had a quite a few beers and we were teasing the groom about the fact that we'd booked him a male stripper (we hadn't but he didn't know this). Anyway, the stripper pitches up with her bouncer, and this was who the groom thought was his 'treat'. He got really arsey and storms off in a huff. Seconds later the real stripper comes in. We all take turns trying to get the groom inside but he cries off saying he just wants 5 minutes alone. Anyway the stripper decided to do the show for a willing volunteer instead.
Being the noble forward, i took the bullet for him and had the dance. The groom decided that he had had enough solitude so he came back in to see a stunning blonde gyrating away on top of me. How gutted was he when she said she done what she was paid for, and was now going home. How very gutted was she when she gave me her phone number as she left!
Although karma is a bitch. By the time I got back to my room I was soooo drunk that I passed out naked in a shower (with the water on) and used an entire barrack blocks (40ish people) hot water supply. I was very popular the next day :)
When I was a nipper I was working at McDonalds. The night before my 18th B/Day we all decided to go out for my last illegal p1ss-up. So we drunk the night away in the pub before going back to a mates for a house party. Copius amounts of alchohol was consumed, and people kept giving me strange cocktails.
After a few hours of drinking I felt a little sick, so I staggered into the bathroom and vomitted into the bath. Repeatedly. Eventually I crawled off and found a bedroom with a bed in it. I crawled in and dozed off.
I was woken about five minutes later by a girl screaming. What I didn't realise was the bed already had an occupant. My mates sister, who i'd been trying to pull all night. And this occupant now had a fresh covering of puke over her hair and face, fresh from me.
My mates decided I was to dangerous to be inside the house and carried me out to the garden. They then left me on the lawn and turned the sprinklers on. I couldn't stand up, so instead lay crying on the floor in a mess, begging for my mum.
My Dad came out to collect me, and boy was he not happy.
Next morning on my 18th, I crawled out of bed at lunchtime and went downstairs to "we're not angry, just disappointed" speech
After a few hours of drinking I felt a little sick, so I staggered into the bathroom and vomitted into the bath. Repeatedly. Eventually I crawled off and found a bedroom with a bed in it. I crawled in and dozed off.
I was woken about five minutes later by a girl screaming. What I didn't realise was the bed already had an occupant. My mates sister, who i'd been trying to pull all night. And this occupant now had a fresh covering of puke over her hair and face, fresh from me.
My mates decided I was to dangerous to be inside the house and carried me out to the garden. They then left me on the lawn and turned the sprinklers on. I couldn't stand up, so instead lay crying on the floor in a mess, begging for my mum.
My Dad came out to collect me, and boy was he not happy.
Next morning on my 18th, I crawled out of bed at lunchtime and went downstairs to "we're not angry, just disappointed" speech
I had my parties elsewhere, like that hall I hired, where most people spent half the night in the fields and next morning they called me to say I was banned due to all the bottles outside, a broken toilet, broken fire extinguisher and because of the 2 people that fell out of a tree onto them when they went to open up in the morning!. ha ha
On my stag night, my mates organised a pub crawl and a stripper. The pub crawl went well, until we reached the club where the stripper was booked. She dragged me into the centre and sat me in a chair and then started dancing. She was about halfway through when I projectile vomitted down her boobs. I then threw up over the bouncer who threw me out, then over the taxi taking me home. Mmmmmm nice
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