Terminally ill Wife

[aardvaark]

My Wife is very ill with Cancer and complications. It is very possible that the situation will deteriorate to a point where a descision will have to be made whether to close down machine support and let my dearest darling slip away. My wifes Mother is very vulnerable and my wife is her reason for life and therefore in truth may not (imho) be able to make such a descision. My question is , in English law , is it only the husband who can make such a decision or does it have to be a consensus of family members(if so which family members). This is all supposing that all medical advise and opinion is followed and the doctors agree. I hope with all my heart that matters will not progress to this stage but the signs according to medical opinion are not encouraging.. Thanks in advance,

[sherrardk]

I can't answer your specific question but wanted to say how sorry I was to read your post - my mother died of cancer 8 weeks ago, just 5 weeks after being diagnosed so I know some of what you are going through. xxx

[bednobs]

none of the above. Unless you have power of attourney, noone can make a decision to refuse or accept medical intervention on behalf of another adult in this country. In reality, the doctors will take everyone's opinions into account but will do what is in "the best interests" of the patient. However, they are not bound by the decisions the family come to. There have been several cases where family have disagreed with doctors and have had to take it to court to get a ruling. If someone in the family strongly disagrees the doctors may take legal advice. does your wife have any mental capacity now to be able to say what she wants in the future?

[rowanwitch]

So sad for you.... while a nurse in ITu had privilege to care for many families in this situation, The reality is often that the decision is never required as your wifes condition could chan, but it will be the decision of the medical staff taken in your wife's best interest if such a choice is required but they will take the feelings of those closest to her when making the decision. generally I have seen the life partners views were held to carry the most weight when discussions with the family take place.

In a way I would hope that fate intervenes for you,

Best wishes Rowan

[aardvaark]

Many thanks for the answers and the sentiments. My wife at this time is unreactive and so may well be unable to contribute