it feels like he won't let go....:(

[Uselink]

Hi There,

I previously posted about a MM here:

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Question114132.html

Basically, I was starting to get over him emotionally. Although he was still flirting with me a bit when we were alone, i was getting stronger and ignoring it all a bit more. Anyway, last week me and some friends from work went out and MM popped up. He made such a fuss he wanted to sit next to me, but in the end one of my friends sat next to me. Anyway, MM then proceeded to ignore me all night, bang on about his wife and kids in a REALLY LOUD voice, then he was showing off in front of me&when I was talking to my friends, he was staring over and listening into the conversation! It really annoyed me as he made SUCH a point of ignoring me all night, talking to all my other friends, as well as the behaviour above. It just brought me back to square one again, and I was a bit upset about it all. To me, its like he keeps on with this behaviour and one minute he's all flirty with me, the next he'll ignore me and keep up with the behaviour above. It really messes with my head!

I just want to get strong again, and not have my head messed up again.

Any advice/help would be greatfully received.

Many thanks xx

[rampart]

Uselink, I do not see why you would have any interest in MM for a number of reasons. Of course, I do not know you or MM, and probably really do not understand your situation, but I thought I would share my first thoughts on this.

MM is married and it just isn't right to carry on with a married person. If he would cheat on his wife, surely you have considered that he might cheat on you. Certainly you wouldn't want that to happen to you, so I would think you would want to move on to somebody else.

Even more, think of your reputation should your relationship flourish, he divorces his wife, and marries you. It will have impact on your life in many ways. Would your parents have problems with this? Would your church permit you to marry in it? How would your life at work be? What would your friends say? Clearly, there is much to consider if you are the reason he leaves his wife and children. And if you do start a relationship with him and it ends, you still have that reputation with you.

Also, if he acts strangely now - warm one moment, cold the next - and this is at the beginning of a relationship with you, do you think he will act better later? My guess is you are already seeing his best side. Clearly I do not know that, having not met him, but it seems to me that the more we get to know one another, the more we learn about eachother and let down our guard. I am not sure that what you would discover in the future with him would be better behaviour.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. I would think if I were in your position, I would have nothing to do with him at all.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[woofgang]

He can only mess with your head if you allow it.

Flirting is a two sided activity, he can't flirt with you if you don't flirt back.

Don't you get it?? Ignore the man and move on!

[jno]

shooting him is illegal (though tempting); but ignoring him is permitted and as woofgang says effective. He seems to be trying to get a rise out of you; don't let him