children at funerals

[kitten_uk2]

It will be my dads funeral on thursday, my sons grandad.
my son is autistic, and even though he senses something has happened this week, he does not get the sadness of it.
i dont know wether to let him come to the funeral, he will be sitting at the back with my husbands parents if he does attend.
His grandad was part of his life and we will be rejoicing it in song and prayer.
my husband and a few others say i shouldnt let him attend.
he is only 6. i dont know what to do.

[ummmm]

Let him go. My son, who is also autistic (mildly) didn't get the feelings we did when my Dad died. Doesn't mean he isn't sad though. They just don't express it the same as us. When Dad died my son went back to spinning....something he hadn't done for a few years.....

Let him say goodbye like everyone else....

xxx

[my4ds]

would it not be helpfull to your son to say goodbye to his grandad at the funeral.as this might make him understand that grandad has gone.
if he is at the back and needs to leave it wont disture anyone so i think thats a good idea.
my son who was nearly 3 did go to his grandads funeral but like your son he was at the back with othem family members.
my son didnt go to his brothers funeral as there was no one to realy be there for him but as your hubbys parents will be there with him he sould be ok.
at the end of the day it is down to you and how you think your son will handle the situation.
my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.

[daffy654]

Your son may be subject to sensory overload at an event like a funeral, he may show some inappropriate responses to what is going on during the service.
I have a 12 year old son who has Aspergers Syndrome and I wouldn't want him to attend a funeral for those reasons.

[naomi24]

I can't answer your question from a medical point of view, and obvously I have no idea of the severity of your son's condition, but on the face of it I think I would allow him to attend. In my experience children are far more matter of fact and accepting than we adults - which is why they don't 'get' the sadness of it all, and take funerals in their stride.

To give you an example, at a friend's mother's funeral, she sat next to her little granddaughter. Obviously my friend shed a few tears, and when the little girl saw her crying she said 'What's the matter grandma? Don't you like the music?' That's kids for you!! :o)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what a difficult time it is. Much love. x