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Here's the story. Best mate is a plumber but does lots of other stuff and has helped me out round the house no end....he's a real gem. He's also not short of a few quid...his wife works full time and has a well paid job and they have no kids.
As he's helped me out a lot without me paying him any money, i give him stuff that i no longer need....eg loads of books on gardening and bonsai, plants for the garden and recently, my two stunning Japanese maples from the front garden which must be easily worth several hundred pounds each.
This week, i put all my koi up for sale and he reserved two of them to a value of £130. Now i'm not sure if he expects these as a gift again....he took them yesterday and hasn't paid me. Now i can't really afford to just give them away yet he's done loads for me !!!
Would you ask for the cash...maybe just £100 or would you not bother ?
Tricky one really as he's a good friend.
As he's helped me out a lot without me paying him any money, i give him stuff that i no longer need....eg loads of books on gardening and bonsai, plants for the garden and recently, my two stunning Japanese maples from the front garden which must be easily worth several hundred pounds each.
This week, i put all my koi up for sale and he reserved two of them to a value of £130. Now i'm not sure if he expects these as a gift again....he took them yesterday and hasn't paid me. Now i can't really afford to just give them away yet he's done loads for me !!!
Would you ask for the cash...maybe just £100 or would you not bother ?
Tricky one really as he's a good friend.
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.i suppose you should work out just how much he has saved you by helping you...does it run into the thousands?
obviously you should have been clearer with him, but then if he must known you had put them up for sale, and had prices for them, as he reserved 2, so he may still pay you...so wait a wee while to give him chance to sort it out.
did you offer them to him?
or did he just discover you were selling them and ask?
if you offered, i suspect he may think theyre a gift
unfortunately really only you can judge what to do as only you know if you would sound really ungenerous and cheeky if you asked for money...
obviously you should have been clearer with him, but then if he must known you had put them up for sale, and had prices for them, as he reserved 2, so he may still pay you...so wait a wee while to give him chance to sort it out.
did you offer them to him?
or did he just discover you were selling them and ask?
if you offered, i suspect he may think theyre a gift
unfortunately really only you can judge what to do as only you know if you would sound really ungenerous and cheeky if you asked for money...
You say you have gave him two trees which are worth hundreds more than the fish. If so, then it is perfectly possible that he thinks the fish, which are worth a lot less, are a gift as well.
As you say a tricky one as he is a good friend. However, on balance I would not ask for the money as this could lead to an unintended conflict and do you really want to lose a good friend over £130. Plus, you may want him to do stuff for you again.
As you say a tricky one as he is a good friend. However, on balance I would not ask for the money as this could lead to an unintended conflict and do you really want to lose a good friend over £130. Plus, you may want him to do stuff for you again.
I think the turning point was when and how he took them. ie did you hand them over or did he net them and leg it. At the point of his saying,'ooh they look quite nice,' would have been the point to say,'Thing is mate I really need to flog them, short of readies an' all.;
Can't see an easy way to go back on this, and maybe in future you need to reduce your social indebtedness by either doing without or paying for stuff that needs to be done.
Can't see an easy way to go back on this, and maybe in future you need to reduce your social indebtedness by either doing without or paying for stuff that needs to be done.
Thanks for your replies.
Even though he does a fair bit for me, i do help him out too by growing stuff for his garden etc etc.....i'm a bit soft when it comes to cash, i love helping people out and never charge them (i've just made all the local pubs hanging baskets at just cost price and saved the pub over a grand....they just gave me a couple of pints free)
Trouble is, i need the cash from these fish to help towards getting a bigger greenhouse to grow more stuff in. Ive only got rid of the pond to make way for the greenhouse and help fund it.
Even though he does a fair bit for me, i do help him out too by growing stuff for his garden etc etc.....i'm a bit soft when it comes to cash, i love helping people out and never charge them (i've just made all the local pubs hanging baskets at just cost price and saved the pub over a grand....they just gave me a couple of pints free)
Trouble is, i need the cash from these fish to help towards getting a bigger greenhouse to grow more stuff in. Ive only got rid of the pond to make way for the greenhouse and help fund it.
sorry - if they were advertised for sale as £130, how can he think they are a free gift? i would bring the topic up with my friends asap and be completely honest about it. if you need the money to fund a greenhouse, tell him that's what its for - if he was any kind of mate, he would understand, apologise and give you the money or the fish. perhaps your idea of good mate isn't his - perhaps he sees you as a soft touch...think about it x