News0 min ago
A Bit Confused (2)
I asked him:
Is there another reason that we don't do the deed?
Are you depressed, something else on your mind?
Something that you are nervous to talk about?
Do you think we should see a doctor or Relate or something?
He said:
Certainly not.
I asked:
Is there someone else?
He said:
Definitley not!!
I told him:
Its eating away at me and doing my head in babe. I'm only human at the end of the day.
He said:
Im not exactly sure...
For some reason, I seem to be really shy about it all, I can't explain it and I don't really know what more to say. It might have something to do with you being so "up front" about it, I'm not used to that.
..... But if he is so embarrassed about me talking to him about it, I'm never gonna get anywhere!!! ....
I said:
Well the reason I'm being upfront about it is simply because I'm worried and you are my husband after all and I thought husbands and wives are supposed to talk about everything? I don't understand why you are shy with me?
His reply?:
That's just me all over.
Answers
No best answer has yet been selected by Otrere. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Really constructive answer!!!
How about saying something like, 'well it's really getting me down and I don't know what to do about it, but I know i can't carry on like this. Do you have any suggestions?' Ask him direct short questions, men tend to respond better to them. Problem is if he feels like he's being backed into a corner, it could make it worse.
He has to admit there's a problem before you can find a solution.
I do feel for you though x x
But he says he isn't depressed. Unfortunately I do suffer with a bit of depression and can recognise it and he doesn't seem to be showing any signs?
He just finds me a bit forward and him being a bit shy he finds this quite overwhelming and offputting - that is what he said anyway. I wondered if he thought he was "rude" enough for me but really that isn't a probably - our sex life was fab before (as far as I was concerned anyway!).
Otrere - you are not alone, it is a more common problem than you think. It doesn't have to be another women. It maybe (I say maybe) depression. And sometimes the reason for depression is not obvious. If you don't mind me asking is he (your husband) from a broken home, or does he have a svengali parent who emotionally controls him? Has he achieved what he wants to with his life?Does he have siblings who have achieved more than he has? -You don't need to answer these questions just things to consider.
Men are complex. They don't say what's on their minds, unlike women. Its difficult to give a constructive answer. Men also don't like showing weakness so the suggestion of going to Relate is a non starter.
All I can say is that I feel for you and wish you the best.