WHERE DO I FIND ONLINE SUPPORT

[Linda51]

Does anyone know of any online support sights where I can write down my problems and get different peoples help? Thanks.

[Mosaic]

Linda, you must first of all accept that if you want advice from'anyone' on the world wide web, it may not always be reliable advice.
Bearing this in mind, you need to find and contact the agencies who best match your needs. You (quite rightly) don't specify if your problems are eg financial, sexual, mental, medical, social, practical.......if you can be more specific without revealing personal details, then you will find many people able to put you in contact with appropriate help.

[Linda51]

My problem is with my daughter seeing a man who is 23 years older than her and we aren't really happy with the situation and would like other peoples opinions.

[wolf63]

Unless your daughter is quite young (teenager) you would be best just to leave her alone. If you start to interfere - no matter how well intentioned - you could alienate her and make the situation much worse.

See how the relationship goes - it might fizzle out or run for many years and be a happy relationship.

You want the best for your daughter - that is normal - but at some stage you have to let go and allow her to make her own mistakes.

Get to know the guy - you might find that you actually like him.

Best wishes

Susan

[Buenchico]

How old is your daughter?

If she's 12 you've got a big problem. If she's 42 you should be keeping your nose out of her affairs!

Chris

[Mosaic]

Like wolfie says, if your daughter is an adult she may form relationships with any other adult. The law and our society say she can. And she will, whether you like it or not. try to accept the inevitable and roll with it. It may or may not work out, that's life. But some very good friends of mine enjoyed this age diff - he sadly passed on recently aged over 90.
There is no logical rule that dictates the age of your lover.

[angry2008]

well.... i looked at this and anticipated talking to you.. then i saw your comment on your daughter dating a man 23 years older than her...I am a young woman who dates a man 19 years older than me.... I dont believe you should have anything to worry about if the bloke is genuine... I have been with my partner 5 years now and find it difficult for people to base their disapproval on age... youneed to try to get to know the man before you make judgements

[hc4361]

As already said, if she is an adult you will just have to accept it. Make him welcome, get to know him.
Your daughter may just see he has more in common with her mum and dad than with her.

[brenda]

When I was 20 , I met a man who was 37, we married , had 2 children and are still together, 50 years in August.
My advice would be to let things ride for a while , both he and she will know .

[karenmac60]

My husband is 15 years older than me, but he can be very immature in some ways and I often feel like I'm older than him. Age is just a number. Someone young could have a lot more life experience than someone much older. Maybe your daughter is mature whilst her partner less so and they kind of meet in the middle. As long as it's not verging on the illegal then I'd let her get on with it, as long as she knows you'll be there for her if it falls apart (without saying I told you so), then there's not really much else you can do. Taking a stand against it will only drive her away and make her more determined to make it work with him, in an effort to show you that you're wrong. It will also mean that if there are any problems she'll be less inclined to turn to you.

[Rach-UK]

Hi Linda. How old is your daughter? If she is an adult, there is no reason to be worried or see this as a negative thing, she may be extremely happy. Family acceptance is always a toughie when it comes to dealing with things that aren't considered as 'normal' to others. But just because it is not for you or isn't your way of an ideal relationship, doesn't mean it doesn't work for others. Remember, just because you don't like something, doesn't mean it is a bad thing.

I myself am in a 'May-December' relationship and I love being with the man I'm with, who happens to be 26 years older than me (I am 28) I put it this way: you like who you like, peoples' maturity levels are completely independent of their age, so who's to say that anybody isn't compatible with anybody else? I am prepared for the fact that he may 'slow down' or however others may want to put it, but in my opinion a few great years with a conscientious, caring lover and friend is not to be overlooked on the basis of a number. We feel what anyone else feels in a relationship, it just happens to be for someone much older or younger. I have been in numerous relationships with men of my age group, and have never felt the compatibilty that I do now.

It would be nice if the situation was more socially acceptable, although it does appear to be becoming alot more common these days. But I have found so long as the people who matter most and truly care about you don't mind and are even happy for you, that's what matters. So it is very important that your daughter has her parents'/family's support. She will need your support if her relationship does break down, but not to say 'I told you so' - as relationships break down due to many reasons, regardless of age.