Hey there kids, how is everyone this evening?

bobjugs12 | 18:41 Mon 12th Jul 2010 | ChatterBank

37 Answers

I just thought i'd pop in to say hi, and see if I could help any ABer in their moment of need. Seems like all is good in here, so i'd say my work is done.

if money is the root of all evil....

Doctors & Budgets

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sara3

cazzz, he's sorting out my 16 yr old daughter, too :-O

paddywak

well,if you've got the time my top patio needs re-grouting and the pond filter needs cleaning. Just pick a nice day to call round and we'll keep you well supplied with beer and BBQ when you're done

bobjugs12

Question Author

Right then, answers to the problems i've seen so far.
Sara - Trampoline: Read the instructions, if that still doesn't work then flutter your eyelids at the bloke next door. He'll be so keen to impress that he'll try to put it together, fail miserably, then (instead of admitting his failure at manly prowess) will go and buy you a pre-made one. Problem solved
Sara - Daughter: Ask her, if she refuses to answer the threaten to get drunk and cut her hair whilst she sleeps. She'll be so petrified she'll tell you every little secret in her life. On the off chance she's always desired a skinhead then tell her instead that your getting your nipples pierced and will show every lad she ever brings back to house, from now until your 80!

Chuck - Car: Pay a local kid a fiver to do it, then when he's finished tell him he did a crap job and refuse to pay. Job's a good 'un.

Lard - Bin: Not a chance, sorry.
Lard - Splashback: Just apply clingfilm to your wall. When dirty you can just peel it off and start again.

Pasta - Curtains: Why bother with expensive curtains. Instead buy a whiteboard marker and just colour your windows in every night. Next morning, just wipe clean.

cazzz1975

good grief! :O

bobjugs12

Question Author

Gran - Carpet: Just wait until the fitter arrives, then threaten him with a samuri sword until he does everything for free.

Barmaid - Boyfriend: Why does he need a slap? At the end of the day, as a bloke he was probably right, although there is no way you'll ever accept that as you are female. Learn to accept your flaws...

lardhelmet

Boomin 'ell Bob - you're sooo organised - you should have been a councillor -on the council type - not the type to whom you tell your troubles

askyourgran

Well at least you could direct me to a Jap, I need his samurai sword I've only got steak knives.

Barmaid

Bob - you're next in the Fluffing queue!!! AND the scottish Snag has the absolute cheek to try and correct my perfectly correct pronunciation.

pastafreak

I've got the curtains already...and they were not expensive. Well...correction-they were £250 but I got them for £20.....so I HAVE to use them.
I also need to replace the nobs on my kitchen cupboards......hang a curtain pole in the bedroom.....get my daughter to flog all her clothes once and for all on ebay....but she's in India........get the washing machine either fixed or hauled down 2 flights of stairs.......there may be more... ;-))

bobjugs12

Question Author

Barmaid. My point has been proven...thanks

Barmaid

No he wasn't bloody right. He was trying to tell me the law in my specialist area and then got humfy when I told him he was talking utter botox.

boxtops

Bobjugs, you are clearly the successor to Dear Marge, may I suggest that you open Agony Corner every now and again for us? You seem to have solved all our problems, and I've made my own tea while you were waiting.

lardhelmet

Hi boxy. It's all gone very quiet in the Jugs corner. Think he must be doing a bit of grouting, washing, ironing...

bobjugs12

Question Author

Sorry kids, I was on the phone