I have a handicap grand daugher

[xstitcher]

Hi Guys,

She is 9 months old and is a twin. As of yet the doctors can't really say what is wrong but perhaps it could be CP.

May is a twin and her brother Pelle is fine. May who is the handicaped baby is gorgeous, smiling and gives no problems.

It's her mother and grandmother (I'm the other grandma) who have chosen to look aat May's handicap as the worst thing that could happen to the family.

I am so angry with this "victim" way of thinking. My son is a positve guy like the rest of the family.

Okay all I wanted to do was let off steam. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be okay tomorrow I hope.

[daffy654]

Cerebral Palsy comes in varying degrees of severity. If this is what your baby granddaughter has then she may be only minimally affected by it.
There is lots of help out there for disabled (nobody uses the word handicapped anymore) children nowadays.

[dothawkes31]

My nephew was disabled from being 6 months old due to inoculation, he's on X Factor this year and will be on the tele singing in front of Simon Cowell, anything is possible.

[dothawkes31]

Stephen, he sings, very good he is too. xstitcher you have the right attitude, your granddaughter can be whatever she wants to be.

[ttfn]

Hi xstitcher - May sounds adorable. Maybe her mother and (other) grandma are somewhat in shock and worry about diagnosis and the future? Every life is precious and especially those of babies. Once the doctors have decided it will no longer be necessary to speculate and be frantic. I am sure you will enjoy both grandchildren in the way grandparents should. This is a good place to let off the steam. kind wishes ttfn

[Mamyalynne]

xstitcher I am with you on this one, whilst we would all love our children and grandchildren to be born with no disabilities, I believe we are dealt the hand that we are able to cope with, and she will be a constant joy in your lives. She sounds adorable and her twin brother will be her protector and best pal.

Bless you all ♥

[jaffa cake]

my younger sister is mentally handicapped and epileptic, she can be the biggest pain in the bum, but her and her friends have a lovely life withiut being in the real world and know how to throw a good party. they are normally referred to as spacial needs i think they should be called special people.

[gerry999]

i think they need time to adapt to both children and how they are different,i would keep being positive and keep reminding them that they are lucky to have what they have and that all children have a little magic.

[yinyang]

When my twins were born one had a birthmark on her chin and the other had a badly turned in foot. Both are fine now so I realise that it's not on the same scale as the problems your grandaughter may be facing but I just wanted to give you an idea of how I felt at the time and your daughter in law may be feeling now.

My grandparents are of the same type as mentioned above. Whereas we all saw beautiful smiling happy little girls ,my grand parents would sigh and tut and and comment nearly every day on what a shame it was that they had these problems.

I do believe that we have to make the best of what we're given and I'm not a negative person but I am a guilty feeling person who will take all the responsibilities of the world on my shoulders. I would sit with my daughter with the bad foot every day gently manipulating it the way the hospital showed me. Sometimes I would be crying the whole time I did it. Mainly because I felt it had been my responsibility to grow 2 perfect little people and I'd failed in that so had to do all I could to make it better. Also because while I was trying to fix this it was taking my time away from the other twin who needed me just as much.....

[yinyang]

... ( cont. ) With hindsight I can see that I was very badly affected by exhaustion as any parents of twins are but because of that my grandparents negative comments really struck deep and I began to think they might be right, that despite all these wonderful things we daughters had these two little aflictions might spoil their lives. That made my guilt worse and so I worried even more.

I do think you need to cut your daughter in law a little slack. Becoming a parent can be exhausting and overwhelming, twins can be even more demanding and with the possibility of one of your children being diagnosed with CP, can you really blame her for being down about it. Her whole live has been turned upside down and she needs your support more than ever, especially if her own mother is too wrapped up in feeling sorry for herself. I'm glad you and your son are positive people. That will be a big help. I hope I've managed to explain myself without sounding harsh or self pitying - I probably couldn't have put my feelings into words like this at the time and maybe your daughter in law is having the same problem.

I do wish you and your family all the very best. You enjoy every moment you can get with these beautiful grand children.

[xstitcher]

I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you for the lovely answers. Isn't it marvellous how complete strangers can be of great support.

Bless you all.