What's a mixed feeling?

[McMouse]

It's when you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.

[Captin Kirk]

husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”. The husband turned to his wife and said, “Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.” She said: “Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis… “