My child won't stay in her bed!

[kramshell]

I have a 2 1/2 year old who has continually gotten out of her bed. I don't know how to keep her from coming down stairs. She gets in bed between 8:30-9:00 but doesn't stay in there. By the time she goes to sleep it is 10:00. What do I do?

[january_bug]

I'm not a parent, I only clicked in here on my way to news, but I spotted your question and have thought of something that may help.  (I watch the parenting programmes on BBC3.. no harm in being prepared!!)

First... you can put a stair gate on, so that she can't come downstairs. 

Second... well, as I said, I'm no parent, but the BBC seem to use a lot of experts... perhaps something suggested here may be of interest to you. 

Good luck, and I hope you get a peaceful evening soon! :-) 

[beweypm]

This will take a bit of patience and determination on your part because the key to solving this is consistency and calmness. If your daughter gets up calmly explain that it's bed time and she needs to stay in bed - but don't get involved in a long debate about it! Take her back to bed and say that she must stay there. If she keeps getting out you repeat the process until she gets the idea. keep any conversation to a minimum but you mustn't shout or lose your temper with her - and you mast be consistent or it won't be worth the effort! This may take an hour or more the first night but you will find that gradually she will get the message and the time it takes will get less each time. Don't get into conversation with her as that's a way of her getting your attention - but just calmly set the boundaries for her. Don't give up!

[Hammer]

Be firm and consistent, and physically put her back into bed each time. Don't say anything more than "Back to bed please" or similar. You'll be amazed at how quickly she'll catch on, but you must remember to stay calm yourself. Should be sorted in a couple of days.

You could also try saying you'll take away one of her teddies if she gets up again, but you must do it if you say you will. This works a treat for myself and Mrs Hammer. After one teddy our 3 year old never gets up again.

[kramshell]

Thank you for your advice. All of you have great ideas! I did try the not speaking to her and just putting her to bed. That worked one night. Then I tried it the next night and it didn't work. So, last night I tried taking bears and stuft animals. We got to 5 and she still got out of bed. So, I raised my voice and said, "You are making mommy feel very angry. You need to go to sleep." I felt horrible for raising my voice (I don't think she has ever heard me do that) and she stayed in bed. I want to try the gate thing, but my daughter is a climber...won't she get hurt trying to climb over the gate? 

[january_bug]

You'd have to speak to someone in the shop about whether it's safe to have gates for a 2 and a half year old.  I confess I have no idea how big a child of that age is.  I come from a small family and there are no cousins or siblings having babies yet!  Perhaps it's possible to buy high gates.  I'm sure they're built so you can't climb them at all. 

http://www.child-safety-gates.com/

I'm guessing you're American, so this is a link to a US site I think!  :-)

[Gef]

She gets out of bed because she is not asleep. I have three children in their twenties and for each of them I used to read them stories/nursery rhymes until they fell asleep.

[louadams6]

after watching little angels their advice is the same as some of the posted answers here, keep putting her back to bed and calmly say time for sleep nothing else and they always stress NO eye contact with the child. I havent had this problem with my daughter (yet!) but i know someone who used this method with her daughter and after 3 (stressful) nights it worked and she now sleeps in her own bed, sounds easy eh? Good Luck x

[kramshell]

Again...thanks so much for all of your advice. I will try the no eye contact rule. I did see tonight that my husband only had to put her in the bed one time...after I put her in 3...and she stayed. I have to be more firm I am thinking. I guess I am the softie of the family. January thanks for the web site! I will check it out. Gates are really not made that high, unless you order special ones. I have a little gymnist (sp?) on my hands she has been climbing stairs since she was one. So, I am scared to gate her in. Thank you so much for your info! :0)

[rrocketla]

Hi ,

I have a 3 year old daughter and she does the same so I saw what DR Phil said. If all else fails try locking the door! I did this one time and she never got up again. It sounds mean but try having someone wake you up 5to 6 times every single night. You get sleep deprived. Good luck

[kramshell]

Just an update, yesterday I calmly and with no words or eye contact, I put her in her bed for nap 3 times and she went right to sleep. At night, it was only twice. So, this may be working...Thanks sooooo much!!