Insecure feelings

[pinkiefriend]

Hello, I have a problem that I would like to deal with.  I have been seeing my boyfriend for a couple of years now and I really love him but sometimes I feel insecure.  I don't know if it is him that makes me feel that way or weather this is a real problem of mine that I have to deal with.  He has never cheated on me but sometimes I feel that he is looking at girls when I am in the room and stuff, this makes me feel shown up in away.  Like if that girl was to see my boyfriend eying her up when I am in the room, it would make her think that he doesn't have much respect for me or that she could steal him away from me.  I know this is sounding quite paranoid but that's the way I feel.  I know it's ok to look but not touch, but do you think this is the same when the other partner is in the room?  I just wish I knew how to deal with situations like this without letting it get to me.  Any ideas??

[puttycake]

If you see him looking, that means he is not being discreet enough. After all, both sexes look at other people, but it's polite not to make it obvious!

I don't think any other girl would think he is giving her a green light - for a start, not every girl will think your guy is as attractive as you do, but even if she does, if he is faithful, nothing is going to happen.

Try and bring it up in a light-jearted way, but get the message over that you'd prefer him not to peer at other girls while you are around. If all else fails, do the same with the nearest fit guy, and make sure he sees you - then he'll know how it feels, and if he says he's not happy, you can both discuss your feelings and clear the air.

[PurpleLinzi]

Hi Pinkie,

I agree with all that Puttycake says except for the last para (sorry putty hun!) I don't see the point in playing games when you're in a relationship.  Instead of brining it up in a jokey manner, or blatantly ogling guys in his presence, why dont you get a bottle of wine, sit him down and tell him how you feel about this.  Let him know you understand that he's always going to look at other girls, as you do with guys after all we're only human but that it bothers you that he seems to be quite blatant about it.  It doesn't need to result in a big argy bargy and if he truly respects and loves he will take your feelings on board and will rectify how he goes about looking at other women.

Putty is right though, if he's half the man you think he is it will never go any further than looking, no matter what said girl says to try and pursuade him otherwise.

[pinkiefriend]

Thanks for that girls.  You have both been great!  This is the first time I have used this site, I really appreciate your response.