married and unfaithful??

[twinkle2]

Do you think its possible to be totally in love with someone and still be unfaithful?

[ICEMANSAV]

No, If you love them then their feelings are as your own and you would never wish to hurt them. Some people may still feel in love but they will be in love with their emotional attachment to that person.

[georgit79]

No. If you are unfaithful, then there is something wrong with the relationship, even if it is only subconscious at the time.

[pixi]

hi twinkle2, this is the most serious answer i have ever given on here.  If you totally love someone there is no way in this world you would ever be unfaithful to them

[Englishbird]

I agree.  Although just to play devils advocate - I guess it would partly be down to the persons ability to love in the first place.  I'm sure some will say that they can be in love and cheat, but i would argue that that's not being 'totally' in love.  It would also depend on how selfish they were.  A selfish person will never be able to love someone else enough to give them everything.

[georgit79]

That is the most serious answer pixi has ever posted, I can vouch for that. So don't take her opinion lightly!

[jno]

no, that would disprove the word 'totally'.

[siriusblack]

Yes, I think so, because you may compare the one you love to someone else, and the one you love will always come short to the one you are comparing with.

[ondemania]

i guess the obvious answer would be no. but if someone was soo drunk and didnt remember anything and then kissed someone else, would that count as being unfaithful? lol it could happen. maybe the couple have agreed to certain activities? then it wouldnt be unfaithful if you had consent. do i make sense? just some thoughts.

[Champagne]

Yes. Without a doubt. People love in different ways so you can't judge everybody by your standards. Personally, I don't believe in being unfaithful whether I'm in love with my boyfriend or not! However, there are some couples who believe in 'open' relationships. They can have marriage and kids and still be unfaithful and it is acceptable to them.

[twinkle2]

Very interesting! the reason I ask is that I have been with somebody for almost a year now who is with someone else (I know, very very wrong of me but its happened now).  We have quite an intesnse relationship but he still says he is completely in love with his wife and everything at home is great (he's not rubbing it in its just that Ive asked).  I dont see how things can be great and if you are in love how you could sleep with someone else and choose to spend time with them rather than be at home.  Thanks for all your comments anyway x

[jno]

it isn't wrong of you twinkle but it's wrong of him. He may well want to stick with his wife, but there may be more to it than 'total love' - there's inertia (separation is hard work), comfort (a home and family to go to), conservatism (a bird in the hand etc). 

I don't believe he can be totally in love with her: as you already know, if he was he wouldn't have time for other romances, he'd be spending it with her. Sounds as if he's exploiting your love. Up to you to decide whether you get more pleasure from his company than pain from knowing you have to share; but I wouldn't get my hopes up about having him to yourself - he's basically told you that you won't.

[nicola_red]

I'm actually gonna go against the popular opinion and say that I think it is possible to love someone and still cheat on them.  Everything may not be fantastic in the relationship but that doesn't mean you don't love the person. 

[K99]

I agree with nicola.  You can love someone and be unfaithful and you can definatly love more than one person in different ways

[ROSARED]

y would u want to b unfaithful if u were totally in love?

[kazza_cy]

I suggest you buy the book "he's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo (writers of sex and the city).  It is really informative and makes you realise you are worth more than being treated as second best!! Good luck!

[Trillipse]

To be totally in love with someone, you HAVE TO be unfaithful.

[twinkle2]

why???