my son refused to see his father at a drop off centre, what happen's now?

[louise_l]

we were odered to take our son to four sessions at a drop off centre with supported help, when my son arrived he told them that he didn't want to see him, he was distressed and very upset, the lady there told my son that they wouldn't pressure him and they would let his dad know, while we waited for her to come back my son thought he heard his dad's voice and panic'd, i didn't mention this to the lady at the centre as i didn't want to upset my son anymore, we've told our sollicitor everything, he 's told us that he does want to see him and doesn't want to talk to anyone anymore, we've tried to reassure him but cos he's 10 he has his own mind, and his dad is in denile that his son doesn't want to see him and blame's the mother, we've spoke to school about this and his headteacher is sorting out some 1-2-1 counciling, would this help him? any rough idea whats going to happen now, we dont want to put him through that again cos the thought of him getting to breaking point scares us.

[louise_l]

i agree with that, i have nothing against the woman, so far throughout this whole affair she has done nothing but interfer and control everything, her personal view about my wife was that she didn't know how to bring a child up. when my wife tried to sort this mess out she couldn't even ring him cos all she got was her shouting in the back ground, and this has carried on ever since even though my wife told her ex that she wouldn't talk if she kept interfering, his now wife went quiet and then the incident in oct last year she started again, the harrassing phone calls from both of them, mainly consisted of her saying that it was stupid not to sort this out out on a civil level, which is funny cos thats all my wife has been trying to do with dad. from what was dicussed in that phone call, my wife couldn't get a word in, then our son walked away my wife told her he had run off and she panic'd, i knew that he was just stepping away from the conversation and reassured her but dad's wife wasn't concerned at all about the child even though my wife had repeatedly told that he ran away from her, etc.... you get the idea. i'm trying to think of ways that will make dad realise the way he's pushed and handled this is out of order, i dont want to make our son tell his dad point blank cos this could go the wrong way, but his dad has constantly push through the solicitor's and claim we are stopping him from seeing him. dad has denied everything that has happened which has annoyed his son alot, i've always told our son to be honest and true. i've tried telling him to be honest about the way his dad has made him feel, even the cafcas case worker told adam that "if his dad didn't leave him alone, he's being daft" we've constantly been saying because of the arguments between you and your now wife, you son doesn't want to see you. where as hid dad has constantly changed his reasons or approach with solicitor letters, cont....

[louise_l]

... before my wife write back through the solicitors, and explain that his son changed his number, because he didn't want phone calls from him anymore we had a court order through the solicitors. we had 2 courts dates, 1 for cafcas to get involved, we took our, he explained, we got the report back recommending that he see's his dad, 2nd court was to order us to take our son to see him at our local drop off centre, our son told them straight away as he stepped in the door he didn't want to see him. that was last sat. like i said spoke to drop off place and they shared their concerns with me, but dad's solicitor is on hols till monday 13th, and we've had no conformation about taking him again sat 18th. even though the drop off place as told both sides: i'd advice you not to turn up or bring our son, our solicitor as given us no instructions, my wife has told them that she doesn't want to put him through that again and they've relayed this to his solicitor, and told us that both sides will have to put in writing and try and move the court date sooner.

[louise_l]

but before i went to the drop off centre the other day my wife convinced our son to write dad a letter and let him know how he was doing in general, which is a good idea but her son knows that he needs to have it out with dad but is avoiding it altogether cos he's not ready, he wrote the letter saying what he had done over the summer and when i got back, told my wife what the centre had said about his dad wanting to wave goodbye etc... she wish'd she hadn't persuaded him to do so. we've had 1 letter from dad over that past 12 months and all it had was 2 sentices and wasn't even written by dad but his new partner and our son knows his writing, he looked at it went out to play, later on that evening looked again, and then out of no where here tore it up into small peices and threw it across the floor. that was 2-3 weeks ago.

[louise_l]

thanks for all your advice, and i just hope the courts see it our way for our sons sake