Heroin Addiction

[Boisdeslandes]

I think my son is using Heroin again and I don't know whether to confront him or not. He has had an addiction in the past but seemed to have won the battle. Earlier this year his Dad died and he had mental health problems. No one really seems to want to help me. I am told he is not mentally ill enough to be sectioned. The durgs they prescribed don't really seem to be helping and no one from the Mental Health Team has seen him for 2 months. He says he is okay and doesn't want me 'inerfering' but I think he is only okay because he is using again. Where can I get help? or even support

[4getmenot]

and I could always smell it in friends houses smells a bit like a vets

[AlBags]

A vet's what?

Not a lot you can do apart from locking in a cell with padded walls.
Cruel to be kind.

[4getmenot]

a vets premises lol

[sara3]

did his father die this year or last year, as you said in your previous post?

[Boisdeslandes]

Signs of all the erratic behaviour high one minute and then asleep the next, going out in middle of night etc. Don't think he is injecting yet - still walks around with bare arms and legs in the house so that is a good sign. Thanks for comments

[masma]

I feel so sorry for you - no matter what you did or didn't do in the past he's still your son and you worry about him. I hope and pray for both your sakes that he isn't using and this is just a mourning prosses he's going through because of his father. xx

[Andyvon]

I really feel for you Boisdeslandes.

My wife and I have had several years trying to cope with my step-daughter's (S) drug problems. One of the main problems is the group of people S chooses to mix with. We have tried everything over the years including taking S abroad with the idea of showing her a better life. Flights and hotel rooms were booked for her - she just never showed up! All she wants to do is be with her drug friends. We helped S apply for modelling jobs and we paid for her portfolio. S was then offered a superb job with a reputable agency modelling for magazines and TV. S asked me to tell them she wasn't interested. We set S up in two apartments last year and paid her rent in each. S got evicted from both. Now S sleeps on the streets, on peoples' couches and in hostels and seems happy to do so. She's never worked and says she never will. S steals and manipulates people for money and gets it from God knows where.

As with you, Mental Health say she's not especially ill - she's got a 'personality disorder'. That's just a generalised box like the old 'paranoid schizophrenic'. Nowadays, Mental Health has almost been shut down by cuts and they don't want to know unless a person is a danger to themselves or someone else. Only then will they section.

My wife and I have only recently realised there's nothing we can do. S won't help herself and we can't help her. You must realise that the point comes when you have to look out for yourself Boisdeslandes otherwise you will become ill and your life will be ruined. It's very hard if it's your son. You have done your best but only he can help himself now. All you can do is hope he suddenly pulls himself out.

Take care Boisdeslandes. You must now look after yourself.

[Andyvon]

Me again.

Boisdeslandes, you can only help someone who wants to accept help, you can't help someone who won't help themselves. There's no formula or method to force help or change on someone who doesn't want it.
What you could say to your son is what we said to S recently. Tell him that there's nothing you can do to help him if he's going to continue in his old ways and mix with his old drug friends. However, if he suddenly decides to change, then you will be there to help him and give him all the support he needs. That way, you're laying the decision on him. You are saying that you will help him and won't turn your back, but it's going to be him that needs to make the decision to change and have nothing more to do with drugs or the drug crowd.

All the best.