To wait or not to wait?

[ginlemonade]

Just wondering what people think is a decent time to wait before sleeping with a guy? I have recently started seeing a guy and we have been fooling around. i know he wants to take it further but i am holding out! How long before he thinks i am a prude??! I am not very confident when it comes to matters of the bedroom!

[georgit79]

It doesn't matter what he thinks (re. the prude thing)- just do what feels comfortable. Whether that's sleeping with a guy on the first date, or waiting 6 months, that's fine. (Well that's how I've justified my umm, own 'willingness' in the past anyway!)

[Cockney_si]

Sometimes it's better to wait and make sure you're both comfortable in each others company as well as being able to have a giggle now and then.  Most of all you should be able to have fun together and not feel pressured into doing the bedroom side of things.

Plus it adds to the whole expreience in the long run.

[Englishbird]

If he thinks you're a prude for waiting till the time is right, then he's not worth sleeping with.

As georgit says, the right time to wait is different for everyone.  I'm afraid i've never been too good at waiting, so I admire you for knowing you're not ready. Chill, do what feels right for you  x

[Lisax]

whatever you feel comfortable with hun.... dont worry about what he thinks... if he cares he will wait.... first date or 6 months it has to be when you feel ready x

[georgit79]

So it's not just me then, Englishbird!

[Englishbird]

*ahem* no .... ;o)

[lozzzz]

maybe you should just get it over and done with,if your not compatible in the bedroom dept. then you wont have wasted six months waiting,that was my excuse any way, you might be pleasantly suprised and wish you'd done it sooner,after all its only sex.

[irisred]

When its right you'll know and if he really is in to you he'll be only too happy to wait!  Plus the anticipation is almost as exciting as the act itself.

Just be honest with him and make sure he knows how you feel and try to find out his thoughts too.  He may feel similarly!

Have fun and stay safe!

Red x

[jno]

yup, do it when you are ready, not before. Conversely, be sure you're holding out for a good reason - not just leading him on or manipulating him. If he's the one for you, he'll understand.

[Sasha13]

Good question - I'm never sure either - guys, do you loose respect for a girl if she sleeps with you on the first date?

[Mistopheles]

My 2 long term relationships - first one waited 6 months (I was a virgin though), 2nd one I waited 6 days... so I don't think sleeping together quickly ruins a relationship unless he (or she) is a total ****** (fill in the blank with your prefered insult). Ultimatly, I agree with georgit - wait until you feel ready. If he can't wait, his loss!

[GucciGal]

I think the longer you wait the better it is!  (obviously if you are both ready then go for it) 

[Andy008]

As soon as possible. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

[simsfreq]

You know what, don't listen to any of these people saying "do it now!" If you do it before you are ready you'll feel used and cheap, and it'll most likely hurt too. He should understand if he's really into you that you need to wait until you're ready. You'll know when you are ready. And I mean, you will KNOW. Good luck :)

[kazzee69]

Well when I was younger the estimated time was 1 month. It was around a month after seeing someone that people would start being nervous that they had to sleep with their partner. I think the time has become even more shortened since then though.

[kazzee69]

Course it all depends on how you feel. Each relationship has its own timeline. Don't worry about it. It will happen when it happens and it should only happen when you feel right about it.

[kazzee69]

(me again) I didn't wait though me and my boyfriend were good friends and slept together before we were even a couple. But we have been together almost 5years now so it worked out. If I'm honest I wish we had waited until we were a proper couple so we could experience the waiting too but if we hadn't have "acciedently" slept together then maybe we wouldn't have got together.. so... it all happens for a reason.

[Slinkye]

Looks like the votes for "waiting for when you are ready" win. Sounds like a good idea to me, especially if it is your first time.

I would just like to add that please dont confuse love and sex. It is sex what you want or a loving relationship with initimate moments with this guy? Ask youself how you will feel after the deed has been done and this guy does not hang around.

Get clear what yours and his intentions are, be truthful with yourself and you wont get hurt.

[hairylemon]

my dear girl, dont do anything you dont want to do and if he tries to force you or guilt you into it then drop him like a hot potatoe. who cares if he thinks your a prude, if he cares enough he will respect your wishes and respect you.