You know, I've never had a relative in a care home (my grandparents are both 85 and after what I have heard I hope they never need a care home). I am frankly appalled that the management of the care home is so shoddy that all this can go on. I don't blame the staff, since I suspect they are treated pretty badly and paid crap money too.
Whatever happened to showing some respect to the resident and her family and at least allowing her some dignity?!!!
Den, words fail me, they really really do. I just wish you the strength to be able to cope with it and sort it out. x