living alone

[chattykathy]

Hi

Have any other 50 something women ever taken the plunge and gone to live on their own? At times it seems very tempting but I'm sure the reality isn't so great. I would appreciate thoughts from anyone, male, female, young or old on the pros and cons

[anneasquith]

who would you be leaving ? no need to answer if too intrusive.

[yelenots]

When you taken the plunge and live on your own - do you mean leave your husband and family?
Often thought about it when everyone getting on my nerves and I'm not even 50 yet!!!

[NOX]

I'm male and 50 now, and i have lived alone for the last 3 years since my ex wife and i split up. after a noisy house full of kids it was a somewhat difficult adaption at first, but as I have a good relationship with my children and they're frequent visitors it's okay. I found that I could do whatever I pleased, whenever I pleased and not really have to consider anyone else and when I get involved with anyone I have leave to keep them as near or far aways I choose, so all in all I'd say the pros outweight the cons as I'm very happy now.

[chattykathy]

Leave long term partner, not my kids dad - family all grown up and gone away but I have a good relationship with them and often see them. I just feel I wouldn't be missing much and maybe would gain a lot or am I looking at singledom with rose tinted specs??

[wolf63]

I am female and 47 years old (birthday today!) - I have lived on my own for 24 years and am happy. However I live alone through choice and this makes a lot of difference.

As NOX says you can do what you want when you want and not bother about anyone else.

It is nothing to be afraid of.

[welshlibranr]

I have the best of both worlds for me, I have a husband, I love him very much, he wroks away from home mostly, only back every third weekend, an I have my daughter and her family just 6 miles away, see them lots, and my son and his family 160 miles away, so great to spend a weekend with them often, I like my own company often, so this situation suits me fine!.............Not for everyone though!............

[craft1948]

I've been on my own for a few years now and would say it took me a year to get used to living on my own, and another year to enjoy being alone. I think it depends on how many good friends you have, your existing social life, and if you have a job.

[jomifl]

I lived on my own for 30 years and got quite used to it, have had a partner now for 17 years and would find living by myself quite lonely now. So think very carefully.

[chattykathy]

Great, thought provoking answers so far.....

It does seem appealing at times but then I can imagine feeling quite lonely. I do work, have friends and family but they're not always around, are they?
Happy birthday Wolf 63, by the way!

[Brinjal]

The extra person at the dinner party, taking up a two person room when invited to stay at friends cabin/ houseboat whatever. Not always easy being on your own. Unless things are unbearable I would tend to stay put. We all get into a rut and bored with long term partners but the thing is to change routine and make a poin to different things together.

[carmalee]

happy birthday Wolf63 - chattykathy I have lived alone for the past 18 odd years (divorced) after the divorce I had a long term partner for 14 years - but we didn't live together ,I was adamant about this as I really enjoy my own space. Kept everything seperate too especially finances. I love the freedom of doing what I want when I want in my own place and I don't have to clean up after anyone except myself. If you are confident about making decisions by yourself for yourself it's a great. Having said that I can appreciate it's not for everyone and some would rather be in the wrong relationship than be on their own. It's a very personal choice. Whatever you decide - good luck

[chattykathy]

Thanks for the replies and advice. Brinjal I take on board everything you say - everyone else does seem to be partnered so I could end up being the spare dinner! I know I should work on my relationship but I've tried so many times I just feel like packing it all in! He's not unbearable, in fact he can be lovely, but we're not living the way I would like and after promises from him nothing ever changes! I've never lived on my own and thinking about it I've never even had a bedroom to myself!! Lol!!

[Prudentia]

I moved back from Leek in the staffordshire moorlands to the village of my birth, Hassop in Derbyshire, alone and somewhat distressed. However it turned out to be my greatest ever move, I found my soulmate and companion right here over a chance luncheon at the local hotel. We are both so happy here. Prudentia and Marjorie, xxx

[chattykathy]

Awwww, that turned out well then! Good luck to you both! :-)

[boxtops]

Kathy, I did it, I branched out on my own when I was 45 and I have never regretted it, although the parting was painful at the time, since there was no blame on either side, just a parting of the ways. I am happy in my own company, I don't need constant attention, and yes, I agree with Brinjal's comments but people start inviting YOU to things, not you as part of a couple. I moved away and made my own life, which did make it easier, life became what I made it. When I did meet someone (who I'm still with) it was timely and happy - and like welsh's husband, he's away a lot. Once you have lived on your own for some years, you still value your free space. You can do what you want, when you want, without disturbing or upsetting anyone else. Life is for living - I left because I couldn't face a lifetime of "the same" stretching ahead for the rest of my days, I knew there was more out there waiting for me and there was, and still is.

[carmalee]

chattykathy - what I forgot to add was that I have recently split up from my long partner so am really on my own - as for being the odd one at a dinner party whatever, if you have proper friends this isn't a problem IMO - you are there because of who you are and not to make up the numbers.

[chattykathy]

Thanks Boxtops and Carmalee - again very thoughtful replies. It's obviously something I have to think very carefully about but I have to say pleasing myself and having my own space seems very appealing at the moment........!

[chattykatie]

for first you will have all the bills to deal with on your own and when you mess up you only have yourself to blame . sure you dont have anyone to answer to or cook for and you can stay out as long as you like cause there no one to go home to and you will never have to watch football again the t.v. your the boss.and see all the couples you once hanged out with that will change single woman you could become a threat .but kathy its not going to be easy but if you are unhappy and triead to fix it its up to you