worried parent

[linzy]

Im having a tough time with my five yr old boy, we were at friends house who has a four yr old daughter and we found them with their trouser and underwear down, my son seemed to be excited by this. Iv since lost trust in him and will not let him be alone with his sister 2yrs and my friends little girl and constantly sneeking up on them to check he is behaving. Im having sleepless nights hoping my sons not going to be a pervert! please tell me how to deal with it as he denies anything has happend. Has anyone else experienced this??

[maggie01]

I think its a natural for children to be curious about their bodies being different. Perhaps the best thing to do is to  make light of it. If you make a big thing out of it and make him feel he has done wrong, it could possible affect him in later life to feel that it is dirty. I'm sure he is not going to be a pervert.  Its all part of growing up.

[woofgang]

This is a very difficult things to say and not to worry you but this behaviour can be a sign that your son is being abused. Yes I know that there can be other innocent reasons and I don't want to make you panic but please please don't dismiss it out of hand without at least some thought.

[puttycake1]

I think I'd go with maggie01 - children are curious about each other, and you shouldn't put adult anxieties into childish behaviour. If he makes a habit of this, have a word with him, and tell him that it's not always a good thing to do, and you are sure he wouldn't want to upset anyone. Have a word with his teacher and check everything is OK at school - this can sometimes be a reaction to some mild stress outside the home, but again, don't imagine allsorts.

[Mistopheles]

Most of my friends and cousins went through this stage - it's usually just curiousity, and completely harmless. I'd go with the others here - if it's a problem, talk to your son, but not in a way that makes him feel dirty, or you are setting him up to be messed up! Try explaining that whilst the body is normal and there's nothing wrong with it, some people get embarrassed or cross when confronted with it. Encorage him to learn the concept of privacy, but don't chastise him.

[Gef]

First of all a 5 year old cannot get sexually excited. I'm sure your son (and probably your friend's daughter too) was just amused to see that there was a difference. I would not worry about it at all.

[smudge]

I would also go along with maggie01's comments.

[Claribell]

I fully agree with maggie01 and puttcake1, kids are naturally inquisitive but it should not be encouraged.  My 6yo will not leave his 'man bits' alone, plays with them all the time, it can be very embarassing.  If you are still concerned make an appointment to speak to the school nurse, they are there to take the place of your health visitor and offer advice where they can.  Above all do not worry, there are people out there who can help you through this developmental phase.

[cazza0310]

my little girl went through a phase where she was obsessed with 'tails'

she would sit and list all her friends and relatives that had one, (daddys got a tail,grandads got a tail etc etc) she would knock on the bathroom door to ask daddy if she could look at his tail when he was in the bath. (naturally he said no!)

she was amazed that men stand up to pee and dont have to sit down like ladies!!

its just curiosity, all part of growing up and learning. try not to worry.

[y2kroja]

In addition to the above pieces of advice, try and regulate and monitor what your child watch on TV. Early exposure to some inappropriate tv scenes and images may trigger off unwanted curiosity which you surely do not want to start grappling with. Cheers.

[Octavius]

Sexual development and sexual play are natural and healthy processes in children, from toddlers through childhood and into adolescence. For infants and toddlers, this usually involves body sensations, cuddling and touch, and playing with toys. Even in the earliest of days, babies and toddlers touch and rub their own genitals, and even as infants boys experience erections. By early school age (5-7), children are interested in body parts and functions. Some sexual play may begin, and concepts of love and affection begin to develop, evolving into behaviors and questions that continue developing into later childhood (8-9 years old).

It is important to distinguish between age appropriate and age inappropriate sexual behaviors. Many children engage in sexual behaviors and show sexual interests throughout their entire childhood, even though they have not yet reached puberty. However, normative (or expected) sexual behaviors are usually not overtly sexual, are more exploratory and playful in nature, do not show a preoccupation with sexual interactions, and are not hostile, aggressive, or hurtful to self or others.

There are many guidance pages on the internet, but ne warned that you may stumble across some particularly undesirable sites on search engines - just be careful.

Here is a start: here

[JustOnePost]

You are an utter mongo. He is five, you spazzy! He doesn't understand the significance which you choose to attach to certain parts of people you absolute dickwad.