is this the normal 'slump'?

[baggysenior]

I feel so very low and on edge today. After a recent relationship ending and really not knowing why (although it was an unhealthy relationship that stripped my self esteem bla bla)i can't help that i feel i want to just cuddle up with him on the sofa today and eat plenty! instead i find myself in my own new home with my beautiful daughter, with her just wanting to watch her xmas dvds etc. I've tried going out, talking to friends (but fearing mentioning 'his' name because i'll get the same 'get over him he was a loser' response) i sooo badly want to contact him (like i said i won't) but i find myself consumed with thoughts of -is he thinking of me?, does he want to contact me etc? i have a feeling this is the low that follows the high of Christmas. Am i wrong? i'm hoping this low will pass and i'll begin to think what a b*****d again.My hormonal phase has passed so i can't blame it on that :(

[ummmm]

I think it's natural to feel like that.

[cazzz1975]

you have been here before, you have to recognise the pattern by now, you feel down and worthless, he throws you a nice text, you feel wonderful and the cycle continues

you are the only person who can change your future.

[baggysenior]

you're totally right cazzz1975. But this is different. I don't ever want to get back with him, i just have suddenly started fearing for the future. I just wanted to know if others felt the slump. xx

[boxtops]

Stay firm, baggy - this can be a very reflective time of year. You have your daughter to consider now. She needs a strong mum, not someone with no self-worth because of the way a bloke's treated you. Be her role model - stick to your guns. New year, new life..... we're here if you need to talk ♥

[Purple_Popple]

It is normal so don't give yourself a hard time for feeling like you do, afterall you loved him, warts and all...regardless of how he treated you..sad but true....of course you will miss him, the affection, the nice side of him...but it will pass, you have just got to get through these feelings as best you can, there are no rules in how you must feel...I can sympathize having been involved with a controlling man in the past. Just because it is Christmas I think people are expected to be happy, which is not reality.

[baggysenior]

i am trying my very best to be a strong mum, i guess i put my everything into making it a wonderful Christmas for my little girl, and now that has passed i'm selfishly thinking what about me? i will be the best mum i can possibly be, but although i'm thankful to be out of the controlling relationship i still feel he has a 'hold' over me. Strange i know. I can't shake his last words to me. cazzz1975 may well be right, But i have NEVER had the strength to text him and say 'i wan't nothing more to do with him and he has kicked me to the floor too may times' (which he has) so i'm not expecting any contact from him ever again. I guess he'll look for the next vunerable woman available. I gather controlling people never stop. I still miss him though, and it helps to talk so thankyou everyone xx

[cazzz1975]

your posts are almost a copy of your posts from months ago, go back and read your previous stuff, we can all tell you till the cows come home to be strong and empower yourself, the the buck stops with you ultimately.

being in these unhealthy relationships only serve to teach your daughter that this behaviour is normal and she will risk ending up in the same cycle as you have been in for several years.

[cazzz1975]

now is not the time to think selfishly.

[baggysenior]

harsh but true. thankyou.

[beso]

Remember it is not the man you are missing but the impression of the man you wish he could be. You are missing someone who doesn't exist.

[baggysenior]

How very true. I'm missing the man who doesn't exist. I just sometimes need help processing my emotions, and i find it helps me the most to talk on here. xx