Marriage of two different religions

[jp_2031]

I'm a protestant, and my fiancée is Catholic. I know both of the religion are Christians, but I dont know how things work very well.

We want to get married in a Church.

I have heard from some friends that this may be problematic because we were born two different religions... Not to mention the fact I've never been to church in my life, and she stopped going to chapel ages ago.

I'd be more than willing to convert to enable us to get married in a church/chapel; its her dream place to get married.

Im just really not sure the questions to ask, all we want to do is get married in a church/chapel. She says it doesn't matter, but i know its what she really wants. We are in early stages for now, but i don't want to leave it too late then find out that its a definitely no for church.

[jp_2031]

sorry, should also mention, we do both believe in God, and worship God in our own ways.

[ummmm]

My Mum's a protestant and my Dad a Catholic. They got married in a Catholic church and she had to vow to bring up any children as Catholics. She didn't have to convert.

To make it easier it might be a good idea to start going to mass together...make sure the priest spots you :-)

You know you'll have to go to wedding classes....led by someone who has never been married.

[honky-tonk]

My Husband is C of E and i am RC, we got married in a RC church, part of the marriage vows are to bring any children up into the Roman Catholic faith, in other words if my husband to be did not agree with this then we would not be allowed to be married in a RC church. We had 3 meetings with the Priest before the wedding, which was mainly about the values of marriage and did we use his local pub to drink in LOL

[Sqad]

I am an Atheist and my son who is also an Atheist (but always put Cof E on documents) wanted to marry a Catholic girl (whole family staunch Irish Catholics).
He had to go to "lessons" and finally they were married in a Catholic Church with the whole of Ireland and their wives flying in to the wedding. The reception was a religious, cultural version of hell ( that was to me and mrs squad)...everyone p1ssed including the priest.

4 years later they were divorced on the grounds of her admitted adultery, but not before they had had two boys brought up in the Catholic faith.That was 21 years ago.

Has that helped?

[woofgang]

There are, as has been said, ways to get married in church if that is what you want.....but why? if you are not a real member of either religion, then why behave as though you are?

[mike11111]

If your fianceé is Catholic she would never have gone to chapel, which is non-conformist. You can get married in a church (C of E) or chapel without the other having to convert. You can also get married in an RC church without having to convert but it used to be the case, and maybe still is, that you have to promise that any children will be brought up in the RC faith.

[Mosaic]

If you simply want a nicely christian-ish venue, why not do the rounds of the now-numerous licensed wedding venues and make a choice? After all, many of these places include national trust properties, odd out-of-town museums and stately homes, walled gardens and all sorts of stuff.
If your relationship with each other and with your beliefs is as you describe, it seems to me a bit daft to hanker after getting married in a church or chapel. Why?
If married in a catholic church, you will also have to pay for a registrar to be in attendance - as you would at a licensed venue.
i can honestly say in my long life the nicest marriage I ever went to was conducted in a victorian greenhouse (pardon me, 'orangerie') by a female registrar and was sensitive, meaningful and moving.
Maybe you need a long talk with OH about why you think she feels the need to do it in a church, and clarify whether she really thinks it you that wants it....if you get my drift.

[jake-the-peg]

I got married in a catholic church many years ago - wife's familly very Catholic. similar situation to yourselves only neither of us are religious really.

There were a few complications.

As Sqad mentions therer are "how to be married" lessons you need to go to - actually they're a scream

My favourite exercise was where you got a list of household chores and had to write who would be doing them in your familly before swapping papers. - The fights broke out about the room!

Mostly it seems to be aimed at making sure people have talked about important things first. One couple suddenly found out that he wanted lots of kids and she wanted none - they'd never discussed it - they didn't go any further.

There was also some stuff about a letter that of consent that was needed from the local Bishop because I was outside the church.

Yes they make you promise to bring up the kids in the Catholic church but we just ignored that.

It should be possible but you'll need to jump through some hoops to make it happen.

[rowanwitch]

or get married somewhere secular but find a friendly vicar to do a blessing straight afterwards...unless she really feels she needs the full monty Catholic wedding ....but getting married in a venue just because it is her dream (what are the key aspects of the dream marriage before god, tradition, the venue being pretty?) unless it is the god thing that is important it is probably not a reason to get married in any sort of church

[Ankou]

it is generally simpler and easier and probably a more enjoyable procss to get married in a c of e church as opposed to a catholic one. although this does depend very much on the nature of the residing curate.

[andy-hughes]

I got married nearly twenty-five years ago, (my wife is Catholic, I am an aetheist - it's best not to get into that discussion with the priest - I didn't!) and the Catholic church has eased its restrctions in that time.

As advised by previous posters, I had to confirm that any children would be raised as Catholics We had the three talks about marriage, which was great becuase our priest was Father Tolkien, son of JRR, and his study was full of artefacts from the great man's study in Oxford.

I did have to prduce my baptism certificate to prove I had been baptised - not sure if they still insist on that now.

Best thing, as advised, is for both of you to start going to Mass at the church in which you want to marry. If that is not your own parish church, the priest will need to get permission from your parish priest - this is usually granted, it's just a courtesy between parishes.

Have a chat with your priest, and he will advise you of all the proceedures needed.

It is a tradition to offer the priest a gift on the day - he probably won't mention that - an envelope with some folding will go down very well.

[jp_2031]

Thanks all, going to have a talk with my fiancée now you have supplied us with more information
Thanks again
John

[Eve]

My brother's wife is catholic (he is CofE) and they married in a catholic chuch in her hometown in Canada.

He had to accept rather than convert if I remember right and they went to a number of meetings with a priest over here (where they live) and then with the priest in Canada who married them. I seem to remember it being asked for it to be kept quiet that they were living together before they were married and her having to ok her wedding dress was "suitable" for the church.

I'm not sure about the children thing. I have a gorgeous 3 month old nephew and do know he will be christened in a catholic church.