I miss him... he misses me..... but he doesn't want me back

[LadyGooGaa]

My ex tells me he misses me, but does not want to get back with me because he says we are incompatible. He's not the sweet talking type and wouldn't say something he doesn't mean (it took him 9 months into our relationship before he told me he loved me!). Anyway what is it all about.... how can someone miss you but not want to be with you?

[sara3]

he's missing being in a relationship, and obviously there's something about you or you wouldn't still be in touch.

but he's offering nothing, and keeping you hanging around. it's very unfair of him as you need to move on to something on an equal footing.

[4getmenot]

because he knows it hurts now in the long run it wont and he cant be with you.

[ummmm]

He might just miss your company sometimes but doesn't love you enough to stay in a relationship with you. Or if he thinks you're incompatible there might be a few things about you that he knows would drive him mad if he stayed with you.

As harsh as it is...it happens...time to move on.

[Prudie]

Unfortunately he might be saying this to sweeten the pill. Or maybe he really does miss you and the good times but not enough to outweigh the 'incompatibility'. We've all been there and it hurts.

[LadyGooGaa]

Yes, I know deep down I need to move on.. it's just hard for me at the moment. Thanks everyone for telling it like it is.... now I just need to bear it in mind and stay away from him.

[ummmm]

How long has it been?

[LadyGooGaa]

4 months with no contact. I thought I was doing pretty well but I think the Christmas/New Year period just kind of put me back to square 1.

[ummmm]

You might think it's square 1...but I bet it's not. You'll have some time moping but I bet you snap out of it quicker than at the beginning.

[4getmenot]

no contact? How do you know he still misses you?

[LadyGooGaa]

4forgetmenot..... I stupidly sent him an email yesterday, and he replied to it,.... but maybe it wasn't such a stupid thing to do. I think perhap I didn't have proper closure.... so it may help in the long run. I just feel awful at the moment.

[LadyGooGaa]

pinkilady.... I don't think he would intentionally hurt me, he's not like that. He really is a decent guy, unfortunately he simply doesn't love me enough.

[LadyGooGaa]

pinkilady.... aaah it's okay.. you didn't come across as harsh at all.

[baggysenior]

hi ladygoogaa,
you sound exactly like i was, and still am somedays. I was with a 'not the sweet talking' type guy. I found a lot of help through the people on AB. They are very good therapy. I still read my posts and advice when i'm having a bad day but i'm getting by now. Read my posts and see if they help you hun. I really hope they do xxx

[LadyGooGaa]

Yes, peopIe on here tell it like it is - which is a good thing. When I talk to my friends about my ex, they either say nothing or simply say what they think I want to hear. I know it's because they know I'm hurting, and they don't want to hurt me any further..... or maybe they're just bored with my ramblings :-)