Husband Wants To Discharge Himself

[chrissa1]

I don't know if any of you remembers my post about Zimmer Frames just before Xmas. Well, my husband is still in hospital and indeed he was shipped to another hospital a 60 mile round trip for me in the New Year.
They've now moved him back to the same hospital and even the same ward. He has a catheter in and is unable to move by himself but on the phone this morning, I know I'm going to be under great pressure to facilitate his escape.
We have no hoists at home and a new bed I've bought for him to sleep downstairs doesn't arrive until Tuesday.
Has anyone got any advice as to make him stay there short of abandoning him and cutting my phone off.
They don't seem to have any solution to his problems.

[ummmm]

Don't let him put you under pressure. The NHS are not known for keeping people in. They need the beds...so if they are not discharging him then they don't think he should be discharged.

[mrs_overall]

Have a word with one of the nurses or a doctor and get them to explain why he needs to remain in hospital and what the risks would be if he discharged himself.

I'd also point out that it would put a huge burden on your shoulders

[chrissa1]

I don't think the "burden" line would make any difference. He will take the line that it's him who has been incarcerated for 4 weeks.

[mrs_overall]

I know it is tough being in hospital, but I think he is being selfish and needs to be told!
Sorry if that sounds harsh xx

[chrissa1]

Nope, not harsh. That's him all over.

[anneasquith]

sorry chrissa for your ongoing problems and hubby.............with what you say it seems unlikely he would be able to walk far enough out of the hospital,,,,,,,,discuss this with a member of staff. keep us posted.

[ljdksa]

The hospital might suggest he needs to see an Occupational Therapist to make sure he can manage when he gets home. It may be worth getting a Nurse to advise him. That should at least delay him for a while.

[boxtops]

You need to think about the problems if he comes home, and try to make him see that - no hoist - no easy access to toilet - you can't lift him - no t.v. in the bedroom - new bed not yet arrived - I agree that an OT visit to your home would be a very good idea. He can't come home until that's happened.

[chrissa1]

I went for a 2 hour visit and ended up staying for just an hour. He has been told all these things but is just used to getting his own way and has thrown his toys out of the pram. I'm not going in tomorrrow, as he asked me to go. Grr!!

[boxtops]

Sorry to hear that chrissa, but - IMO - you need to stand your ground. He didn't want to go in, it won't help him if he discharges himself early with no proper kit and no healthcare support to help both of you. We're on your side with this one!

[Veebird]

Have you looked into what help is available to you at home? It sounds as if you will need someone coming in more than once a day to help with nursing. If you could consult with the medical staff and come up with some answers as to how you can be helped to cope and a possible date for him to come home, would that make him settle down a bit and feel calmer? And also take some pressure off you?

[chrissa1]

That's what they're trying to do but he has been moved twice now and it always happens at the start of a weekend and so nothing gets going until Monday. He's got no appetite and if he doesn't eat, his muscles wiil not have the energy to support him. But he Won't listen.

[wolf63]

what about one of those long (3 months +) holidays in a nice hotel somewhere warm and relaxing? By the time that you get back he might appreciate you more and be might be well enough to get out of hospital and behave himself.

Susan - never married (wonder why?!)

[anneasquith]

chrissa. take a day off tomorrow, and relax. no disrespect to your hubby who is ill. i think you need the rest,

[ljdksa]

yes you deserve a rest. Point out to him that the earlier he comes home, the more likely he is to be readmitted.

[chrissa1]

That's a great idea wolf. Rest day tomorrow definitely. Thanks guys.