following on from pottsy

[maggie01]

just wondered if you have children and are not married whose surname do the children take. I would assume most men would like the children to have their name but then the mum would feel the odd one out.isn't it a bit confusing at school if the children having differnt surnames to their mum. Just wondered

[kaktus]

Well I would say that question goes for both married and not married couples. My mum and dad are married but I have my mum's last name. It's really up to people themself to decide. 

Is it only men who would like their children to have their name? I for one would like my future children to have my name and not my partner's, not that there is anything wrong with his name at all!

[Octavius]

kaktus - does your mum have her married name or maiden name?

[Octavius]

Sorry that was me being old-fashioned, I meant, does she use her family or birth name or does she use her husbands name?  

[maggie01]

yes but this was my point. Most people who get married and have children together all have the same surname. If you have children before you get married or not as the case may be you are not going to all have the same surname which i found could be a bit confusing for children.

[Lily_b]

It's up to the parents which surname to give the child maybe someone could tell us if there is a law saying that the child has to take one of the parents surnames, I presume it is possible that you could give a child a competely different surname from either parent.

My sister has the situation where her children have their father's surname whilst she has reverted to her maiden name since the divorce.  The school called her by the wrong name once, but only once!  ;-)

[kick3m0n]

we're not married, but our son has my partners name.  I don't feel at all left out, my surname's one of those that folk ALWAYS ask you to spell, cos it sounds more difficult than it is, whereas my partners is nice and simple.   I feel no affinity to my surname as it came from my Dad, who I was estranged form for years before he died, and Mum has reverted to her maiden name.  I can't see that it would be "confusing" at school, lots of families/step families comprise of different surnames these days, and as your first poster pointed out, some kids take their mums surname even if the parents are married.   Kids don't pay nearly as much attention to trivia such as this as we adults do.

[kaktus]

oops I didn't make myself clear. My point was that my mum has her birth name and my dad has his birth name. It has never been confusing for me, some people obviously assume my surname is my dad's and some people who know my dad assume that my mum has the same surname as him. But it's never been a problem or confusing in any way.

[louadams6]

when my daughter was born we compromised and gave her a double barrelled surname allowing her to have both surnames. Ive since met lots of other people who have done that too!!! Seems more logical than arguing!

[maggie01]

louadams. I like that idea. It sounds like a nice solution

[woofgang]

what do the next generation do?

[Octavius]

louadams - Giving your children double barelled names just passes the problem on to the next generation who then might have to deal with 4 surnames.  And it aint all that posh is it.

kaktus - it is confusing because people might just assume he isn't your real dad?  Just playing devil's advocate.

There is no law dictating what surname you give a child, but when it comes to passports you may have difficulty taking a child out of the country if you have a different surname. 

[kaktus]

Nope! Actually no one has ever asked me that  Octavius. If it's because they assume he isn't my real dad or because they don't find it weird at all, I don't know... :0)

[simsfreq]

Me and my sister have our dad's surname, but since our parents divorced our mum reverted to her maiden name. It is true that schools find it confusing and there is sometimes a certain amount of "red tape" to be got through but we have always been told that if we want to change our surname to our mother's there would be no offence caused. I've thought about it as I prefer her name but can't be bothered really... it's only a name after all.

[louadams6]

in reply to you octavius, only having just read your reply, the idea to give my daughter a double barrelled surname wasnt because it was posh!!!! even though i dont have to explain it, i am the last in my family to carry my surname and when i die there would have been no more, so to keep my surname in my childrens name was something i wanted to do. But my partner wanted her to have his surname, so instead of arguing over it for months on end we compromised! and like you say the next generation may have to deal with 4 surnames but it is only a maybe! and as my daughter may in fact get married one day there may not be a problem at all! I think most people use their common sense when naming their children anyway (obviously unlike me it seems). Like i said in my last answer, i have met loads of couples since who are not married and have given their children a double barrelled name so it looks like it is becoming a trend, but posh? no i dont think so.....And like you said there is no law as to what name you have to give your children!!!