Crosswords1 min ago
NURSING HOMES PASTIMES
Harold is 95 and lives in a Retirement Home. Every night after dinner,
Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his
accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat
and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and
asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?' .......She asks, 'What?' ----
'Sex!!' he replies
Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a
gun to your head!'
'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it
for a while.'
Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly
each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would
hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by
the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's
manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son of a bitch! What does Ethel
have that I don't have?'
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'
Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his
accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat
and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and
asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?' .......She asks, 'What?' ----
'Sex!!' he replies
Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a
gun to your head!'
'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it
for a while.'
Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly
each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would
hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by
the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's
manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son of a bitch! What does Ethel
have that I don't have?'
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'
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