Hit back?

[tinkerbell23]

I was always told to hit back- twice as hard!! But alot more now i see from younger family members that hitting back is punished as hard as the person who started it (kids)

Suppose voilence isnt the answer! A family friend had to put the phone down on a headmistress who called home to complain that his son had retaliated against a bully who had been picking on him for weeks, my fam friend says look next time he hits u hit back- which he did- teachers wanted to suspend him?... Any thoughts x

[annie0000]

If she had already raised the bullying with the school and they failed to deal with it then I would fight them tooth and nail. When my son was being bullied I told the school that at one point he would snap and hit back (and he's a big lad!) and that if he did, I wouldn't punish him and if the school did then I would take him out of school and for a nice trip to negate their punishment. I don't think that hitting is right, and I would hope that things got dealt with properly without the violence, 2 wrongs don't make a right. However, I would support my child in those circumstances...........and it may have fixed the problem.

[tinkerbell23]

Yep the bullying went on for ages and he just hit back! Good on him i say.

Thankfully i was never really bullied...and i would have been in SOOO much bother at home if i ever ever started a fight.....but for defending myself if probs hav got a row for not sticking up for myself!

I worry about younger cousins both same age (12) one very streetwise, at local school, typical wee boy.....other very ...what can i say...wrapped in cotton wool? Private school not streetwise. I worry about him. He would run crying im afraid :0(

[dyslexicme]

I really wish I had hit some people and then just studied hard.
I let to many people put me down .
Slap them hard . Or talk to someone you respect and get their opinion .
Bully's have weaknesses which is why they bully in the first place.
Try to find something personal out about them . then just say it to there face. D o not suffer. They are often jealous of you .

[annie0000]

My son never did hit back and we are now 2 years down the line and having to get support for him to get his confidence and self esteem back. It probably would have done him good to give someone a good thump, you can't however change their nature, and you wanted want to either. Your more sheltered cousin will just have to get good at judging situations so that he doesn't get into the position of having to defend himself. My OH always says he could smell trouble a mile away and manage to avoid most of it!

[annie0000]

sp * wouldn't want too

[tinkerbell23]

I think i am same i felt trouble ...the sheltered one i feel will have hassel as it comes. He seems like a bit of a target i am 12yrs older but its not SO long ago i was at school and kids r cruel eh.....like u say though u cant change their nature!

Haha yeah dyslex i agree u just say something back - looking back theres a few people i should have just whalloped!! X

[annie0000]

I think my OH was a bit disappointed that he didn't just hit someone but as I said to him, you can't spend 9 years sheltering and protecting him and then expect him to be jack the lad. Although my husband and I were both brought up in rough council estates, we wanted a nicer lifestyle for our family and worked hard to provide that. He was guiltier than me in terms of sheltering our boys and you then have to reap what you sow! You can't suddenly expect them to know how to handle themselves on the streets when they have only been allowed our "safe" estate.

[tinkerbell23]

Very similar here annie...we just grew up as it were...one cousin very down to earth as i said, normal school......other have a bit more money, private school hes a bit softer than the other one...the schooling is another story all together hahaha, but its a catch 22- he has to socialise nearer home where he may encounter trouble. I worry for my aunt (we are close...not toooo far apart in age were like sisters) i think by wrapping him up shes gonna hav sooo much heartache, on the flipside im not a mother so i dont know do i! Ha x

[Teddy_boy]

Right or wrong im not sure , but it certainly doesnt help matters thats for sure

[annie0000]

Hmmm - we're the opposite, we live in a nice area but the school is very mixed - we thought that he would get the best of both worlds - social interaction with all different kinds of kids in a safe environment but unfortunately it hasn't proven so. The kids tend to stick with other kids like themselves and he ended up getting bullied by kids from our estate and was too quiet to interact with most of the kids that would have helped him be a bit more boisterous. I am sure they will all find their way in the world anyway. Hope your friends son get's on okay too. I would point out that the school may have been failing in their duty of care to the boy and that he felt he had no option other than to take the situation into his own hands. If they suspend him, she should take him out for day.

[tinkerbell23]

Yep pixi same here twice as hard lol ill tell my kiddies the same if i have any!! Ive had a few friends who were told hit them or ill bl00dy hit you hahahahahaha old days eh lol ...tad harsh mabye haha xx

[joeluke]

Hit back = bullying stops

Don't hit nack = bullying continues

Simple