Why do peoople say such

[brenda]

unhelpful things at times. Like "you have got to move on"or get over it"
This applies to a friend of mine who has been so ill since October, and at last is able to move from her bed to an arnchair by the window and to dress her upper body with help. So really brilliant progress I think. Her family visit on and off and say these platitudes over and over, which makes her sad and at times tearful.
Feel so mad I could slap them , if only they could see/feel how hard she has been trying to help herself and the pain she has experienced.
Why say things that don't help.?
Just having a bit of a rant really .Sorry.

[Bobbisox]

Hi Brenda, good on your friend I say
people are often at a loss as what to say it such circumstances I suppose, so they use platitudes hoping they are saying the right thing

[zzxxee]

Im glad your friend is moving in the right direction.
Sometimes i think people think its "tough love" but it can come across as being unhelpful and rude i agree.

[society]

That's awful. If the shoe were on the other foot they'd know...

Could your ill friend speak? I understand your friend is dependent on family at this time Perhaps she should speak up a bit, put family members their places.

[jackthehat]

Unless it is all said in a nasty manner, I'd be more inclined to believe that her family are trying to urge her towards a positive future.........to focus on getting back to 'normal' rather than dwelling on her pain and incapacity as it is at the moment.
Anyone in pain will feel more vulnerable and careless remarks carry far more weight than they would in 'usual' circumstances; I wish your friend a full and speedy recovery.

[milly143]

That seems like an odd thing to say when the problem is still very current. If it was something she had suffered a couple of years ago it might be understandable but when she is still clearly unwell then saying things like, "get over it" are just hurtful. Positive praise for the emprovement would seem a bit more desirable.

[brenda]

Thanks for all your answers and good wishes . Just was having a rant really ----hate to see her upset when they have left. Will put aside strangling them all until another day .