please help terrible 2s

[carliex]

my little girl turned 2 in december the past week she is a different little girl, she spits in my face when say no, then when i tell her off for that she spits again, iv tryed naughty step she doesnt care when i ask if she is goin to be good after 2min she says no and runs off, she is paddying for sweets all the time and she doesnt get given them often! I dont no how to deal with her nothin is working, when we go anywhere she runs wild so i put her in the trolly or high chair if out for tea and she will scream so loud i didnt think a 2year old could be so loud! If i take a toy with us she just throws it' please help what do i do with her?

[Count-A-Strong]

Carlie, were not supposed to just post links to other websites now, but there is lots of good information here:
http://www.howtodothi...he-terrible-twos.html

http://pediatrics.abo...a/05_terrble_twos.htm


http://www.bbc.co.uk/...rs_terribletwos.shtml

[elleroo]

Hey, naughty step doesnt work with mine either, he sits there and carries on trying to talk or shout "I dont want to sit here" over and over until i have to give in.... and this can go on for ages until i do give in, its not just a few minutes he would sit there all day and do it lol. So i had to discover something i could do that would really get him to behave... like saying i was going to put his favourite toy in the bin (and i actually went outside to the wheely bin and put it in) he was so devastated he cried and cried and said sorry.
And as frustrating and stressful as it is just ignoring the behaviour does work, if they see they are getting a reaction to the naughty stuff they carry on and on. It is embarrassing while out but after a while they will just get bored of it.
Stick with it, it wont last forever it really is just the terrible twos where they are learning so much

[ljdksa]

She is probably still under the Health Visitor at 2. Give them a ring and they should know of classes and advice available. She will outgrow it. Find something that does matter to her and if you threaten to take something away, etc. Make sure you carry it out.

[zzxxee]

best piece of advice i was ever given "at two years old when they play up ignore what you can"

[NOX]

Exhaustion works really well with the terrible twos to be honest. Take her out to run and play as often as is physically possible. A tired child is usually more easily pacified than one which is fresh and full of itself. That's all we ever did with any of ours when they played up. We took em out to the woods, or the park or played football, hide and seek works well because they have to be quiet or they get found- we used to do that if they were in a mega strop, but the main thing is to stay calm and in control, don't let her rattle you (easier said than done tbh I know), but distraction works well. We never had really huge issues because we worked a way to deal with them where they were too occupied to really kick off (but it was tiring!)

[sherrardk]

I go with Zzxxee on this one - ignore what you can and praise (like mad) when she does behave or does something nice. My next step would be to ger her to behave when she is out and about (bad behaviour is even wor when you feel like pele are watching and judging you). Doesn't seem like it now, but it will pass. She is just finding her feet. Good luck.

[tigwig]

Definitely echo the posts about ignoring bad behaviour as much as you can and praising the good. This may sound really hard but start each day with a positive outlook and plan something nice to do with her even if its just sitting and playing with toys together. It sounds to me like she is doing alot of this for attention and to get a reaction from you (which is obviously working well from her point of view) and toddlers do not care if the attention they get is negative. She would however love getting positive attention more and if you really go OTT when she is playing nicely and make a fuss of her she is more likely to realise over time that being good gets praise and love. With the supermarket I would write her a pretend list and let her select the items herself (things that you need not sweets) Really involve her, stay calm and praise her, make it sound like an exciting experience. If she spits at you just calmly and firmly say no then ignore her if your at home or point out a distraction if your out. Screaming tantrums often bother the parent so much more in public than anyone else so dont worry about what people think. I never do! Good luck.

[numnum]

i'm having a similar problem with my 2 year old, she starts slamming doors, hitting, rolling about the floor, hanging from my legs

i find when the tantrum is about to begin just get her out the room and let her cool down in her own time. then she comes to me. sometimes it'll go on for half an hour or so but i've realised theres no point trying to comfort her, distract her. its just got to run its course.

what i am having bother with is when i'm out. im getting sick of going to friends/families houses and they interfear and start using distractions, dancing about like idiots when thats not what she needs. I cant see me starting to sing and dance in Tescos when she has a tantrum!!!

i was about to start a similar thread. i think when we're out at peoples houses there is not point me trying to get her out the room because i've found that their children follow or the mums have gone out with her!!! so my next way to tackle it is to just put her straight to the car to calm down and watch her discretly from the window. Do you have bother when at other peoples houses?

i don't like the distraction ways as she ends up getting everyone in the rooms attention and having everyone prancing about. i feel she needs to learn to stop it without having to jump about and grab toys, sing etc.

i've been saying to my boyfriend we both need to be singing from the same hyme sheet and do everything the same, so we'll be sitting down one of these nights to come up with a plan of dicipline because she's terrible especially with biscuits and always wanting them and if we're out at folks houses she cant relax if they have left food, fruit etc out. she has to have it.

even when out other folk will go and chop up food for her even after i've said no. so thats a problem of mines is to be more vocal with other parents aswell. they think there being good but its letting her have her own way.

[PipinHull]

numnum I know exactly what you mean, I am getting to the point where I can control my son's bed behaviour (well, just about). But as soon as you are with other people it all goes out the window. And whatever I do at home, doesn't mean nursery will do the same. We've tried making sure we do the same things, but their policy means they are not even allowed to restrain him if he's hitting/kicking, which seems bonkers to me.

I sympathise massively with you carliex, if you look at my profile you'll see I posted something very similar recently and got good responses.

[PipinHull]

*bad* behaviour

[numnum]

i know, i got my bum skelped and never done me any harm

[boxtops]

Me, too, smack on the legs told me when I'd overstepped the mark.

[hellywelly4]

My daughter (now 46) used to have dreadful tantrums when her sister arrived when she was two and half years old. I did all the usual things, and nothing worked. Then I read about telling her I loved her so....
Every time she was having a tantrum I used to pick her up (if I could), hold her firmly and say "Mummy loves you very much, you're a very special girl" and variations on that, using I instead of Mummy and saying her name instead of you. It did work, honestly, in a very short time. I completely ignored the bad behaviour. I think it's when they feel insecure and find that the only way to get attention is to be naughty. After all, cross attention is better than No attention.
I hope my two pennorth helps. It will get better, though, honest! xxx

[numnum]

pipinhull - what do you do when your out and about?

do you get bother with other parents not listening to you? i don't know what it is with me. when friends kids have tantrums in my presence i ignore it and dont interfeer or if there round at ours i ask the parent if they can have a bisuit when my 2 get one but when at certain friends and family they seem to ignore me saying thats enough.

i was out the other day and my friend had a whole pack of grapes lying out. my eldest asked for some so we got all the kids a snack. then my daughter continuted to sneak to the kitchen and kept coming back with more. so i told her no and moved them out of her reach, then the friend then went and cut up more for her after i'd said thats enough. she ate the whole bunch!!!

my friend was like 'its okay its healthy' but my point was i'd said no thats plenty, she hadn't ate her lunch and is going through a funny eating phase so i wasn't wanting her thinking she can get away with not eating her lunch then filling up on food ate peoples houses

it just annoys me when they interupt what i'm doing.