Crosswords0 min ago
Maybe our Rail Service can learn from this little fable
The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company.
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
--------------------------------
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company
-----------------------------------
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That.... gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan.
Bobbs
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
--------------------------------
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company
-----------------------------------
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That.... gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan.
Bobbs
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This also a goos bit of work lolol
Technical problem or defect reported by pilot or crew. Remedial action or answer reported by maintenance engineer .
Something loose in cockpit. Something tightened in cockpit.
Left-inside main tyre (tire) almost needs replacing. Almost replaced left-inside main tyre.
Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500lbs. Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300lbs.
Unfamiliar noise coming from No2 engine. Engine run for three hours. Noise now familiar.
Mouse in cockpit. Cat installed.
Target radar hums. Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Number three engine missing. [not firing properly presumably] Engine found on starboard [right] wing after brief search.
Pilot's clock inoperative. Wound clock.
Aircraft handles funny. Aircraft told to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Whining sound heard on engine shutdown. Pilot removed from aircraft.
Noise coming from under instrument panel - sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. Took hammer away from midget.
Suspected crack in windshield. Suspect you are right.
IFF inoperative. [IFF = Identification, Friend or Foe.] IFF always inoperative in 'off' mode.
Test flight okay except Auto-Land very rough. Auto-Land is not installed on this aircraft.
No2 ADF needle runs wild. [ADF = Automatic Direction Finder/Finding?] Caught and tamed No2 ADF needle.
Turn and slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns. Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!
Dead bugs on windshield. Live bugs on back order.
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 feet per minute descent. Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Evidence removed.
Three roaches in cabin. One roach killed, one wounded, one got away.
DME volume set unbelievably loud. [
Technical problem or defect reported by pilot or crew. Remedial action or answer reported by maintenance engineer .
Something loose in cockpit. Something tightened in cockpit.
Left-inside main tyre (tire) almost needs replacing. Almost replaced left-inside main tyre.
Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500lbs. Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300lbs.
Unfamiliar noise coming from No2 engine. Engine run for three hours. Noise now familiar.
Mouse in cockpit. Cat installed.
Target radar hums. Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Number three engine missing. [not firing properly presumably] Engine found on starboard [right] wing after brief search.
Pilot's clock inoperative. Wound clock.
Aircraft handles funny. Aircraft told to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Whining sound heard on engine shutdown. Pilot removed from aircraft.
Noise coming from under instrument panel - sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. Took hammer away from midget.
Suspected crack in windshield. Suspect you are right.
IFF inoperative. [IFF = Identification, Friend or Foe.] IFF always inoperative in 'off' mode.
Test flight okay except Auto-Land very rough. Auto-Land is not installed on this aircraft.
No2 ADF needle runs wild. [ADF = Automatic Direction Finder/Finding?] Caught and tamed No2 ADF needle.
Turn and slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns. Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!
Dead bugs on windshield. Live bugs on back order.
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 feet per minute descent. Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Evidence removed.
Three roaches in cabin. One roach killed, one wounded, one got away.
DME volume set unbelievably loud. [
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