3 old men

[moonraker558]

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"

[moonraker558]

I messed that one up then

[Arksided]

Mick, Andy and Paddy are sat at the top of a tower block they're are building, whilst sat on the highest girder they stop for lunch and Mick says:
'If my wife makes me roast beef sandwiches tomorrow I'm gonna through myself off this tower block' Andy nods in agreement and responds:
'If get cheese and pickle tomorrow, I'm gonna follow you down' Paddy looks at his sandwich 'If I get sodding jam again I'll be right behind you'

The next day arrived all sat there as before:
Mick; I said it, i meant it' roast beef. off he jumps...
Andy: Well I agreed... cheese and pickle again... he also jumps.
Paddy: I don't believe it Jam!!! again... he also jumps.

The difference is of course Paddy made his own sandwiches.