OMG! Earthquake!! Croydon!!!

[carrust]

An earthquake measuring 8.5 on the Richter scale has devastated Croydon today, causing £3-25 of damage.

Eyewitness Chantelle 14, mother of 3 said."It was well 'king scary. I dropped me can of Stella, & me little lads hands were shaking that much he couldn't roll a joint".....

[askyourgran]

Phew! Good job it didn't damage the benefits office.

[ChuckFickens]

They've recalculated the costs and they now reckon the total is about £50-60K worth of improvements were caused.

[Buenchico]

. . and when asked whether she was worried about the possible effects of radiation, from damaged nuclear power stations, upon her children, Chantelle pointed out that the concept of a 'nuclear family' was totally unknown in Croydon ;-)

[wildwood]

The mother of Chantelle is now suing the Sun for defaming her character as their daughter is 15, not 14.

[RATTER15]

When asked if she would still be able to find her house after the aftershocks, she relied "after 7 aftershocks i cant even find my feet"

[McMouse]

Chantelle was asked if she and her bloke took precautions. She said "yeah, if it's raining we sh@g in the bus shelter"

[carrust]

LOL @ all of you