Gone to a Rest Home today.......

[yelenots]

My mum left hospital today after a 4 week stay following several TIA mini strokes. She has had to go into a permanent care. I am trying to put on a 'brave face' in front of my family but deep down I feel so sad even though I know its the right place to go :(

[supersuezy24]

Aww yelenots she will be well looked after and you can visit xxx
I hope you will be okay xx
*hugs*

[ttfn]

Bless you, yelenots. The important thing here is that your dear mum gets 24/7 attention to her needs. But don't deny your feelings for too long - your family should be able to support you and help bear the load. You haven't said if the home is close to you for regular visits. Just make the most of every time you visit your mum and see if there is anything she needs to make her room feel like her own space. Find out if the home has special events/outings that your mum would like to join in. None will tell you it is easy yelenots, but I hope it goes well for you and your mum xxx

[Mamyalynne]

As you say, you know it is right and you will be able (soon) to rest a bit more in the knowledge that she is getting the round the clock care she so deserves, we do all we can while we can.

Mamya ♥

[anneasquith]

yel. i think your allowed to let your " brave face " slip...... take care.

[alexanderd]

I am sure you have done your best for her in the past and will in the future. As ttfn says a few things to make it feel more like her own space work wonders. good luck
Alex
xx

[woofgang]

((hugs)) its the best thing if she needs 24/7 care.

[ummmm]

If it's any consolation my Nan loves her care home. They have loads of activities....xx

[yelenots]

Thank you all for your kind comments....you've made me cry! The rest home is 10 minutes walk away from our house and is lovely. They have activities and a mini bus for outings. We took some of her personal things and her TV this afternoon to make the room more like home. They have told me to leave it for a couple of days before I go to see her to let her settle in and get used to everything.....its going to seem like a long time until Saturday! xxx

[anneasquith]

well , its near you, its lovely. youve had a wee cry.,, obviously it will seem ages to saturday, but im sure the care home wont mind if you telephone them for an update.

[alexanderd]

That sounds good yelenots and a 10 minute walk is great. If I may say this dont go too often unless there is a special reason.I am sure mum will be fine and she needs to mix with the others there
Alex
xx

[ttfn]

Oh that is great to be so close to her, yelenots (((HUGS)))
How about cooking her some cake or the like for your next visit?

[mazie]

Hi yelenots. I was in the same position some 18 months ago. I felt distraught and thought I'd let my Mum down. The worst thing I had to deal with was my guilt. I knew it was the only thing I could have done to help her but it still didnt make me feel any better. I have to say, she is now happy, she goes on all the trips and has put on weight and is so well cared for. I couldn't have her here as she couldn't get up the stairs to bed, plus her dementia meant it would have been a massive job, not only for me but all the kids as well. I spend every Monday with her and we have a great time... She's 86, still loves her ciggies and has a glass of wine with her lunch every day. I hope you feel as at ease as I do, I know you will with time xx

[yelenots]

Thank you all again....mazie...my Mum is 87 very frail from being in hospital and has gone forgetful (prob due to the strokes) I couldnt of had her move in with us for exactly the same reasons as you. I'm sure she will be happy there - its just me getting used to the idea or not being at home! Thank you all for your lovely comments and I will make some cakes to take with me on Saturday :) xx

[ttfn]

It's good to share, yelenots, I hope we have helped a little x

[mazie]

My Mum is 86 yelenots and beofre she went into this care home she weighed about 4 and half stone. She's over 6 and a half stone now and a completely differnt women. Instead of going to visit her and doing the cleaning, washing and shopping etc. we now have a fun day together, it just takes some getting used to, which I'm sure you will. Good luck with it all x

[ladyalex]

Know how you feel as I went through the same thing with my Dad.
It's the best thing for everyone, just doesn't feel like it is right now.

Just a suggestion, try to time your visits so their is a natural 'end' to them, ie a signal of some sort, like a meal time or a particular TV programme or whatever which means it's time for you to go home. Otherwise it can be a bit difficult to find the right time to leave.

All will be well I'm sure.

[yelenots]

Good idea ladyalex xx

[DEN53]

Evening yelenots - I have been where you are last September - worse day of my life - its a horrible decision to have to make - 6 months on and I still can't come to terms with it. I sit in the car and cry my eyes out everytime I come away from the home.

I put the brave face on and do my acting part when I enter the home. Unfortunately my Mum doesn't recognise me now and is now having to be fed by a member of the staff.

If you were here, I would give you a big hug. xxx