TEENAGERS!!! RAGGHHHHH!!!

[FlowerPetal]

Any ideas on how to stop my teenage stepson from lying & stealing ALL the time?? Every answer he gives is a lie, even the school have got fed up with it and have called in Conexxions to help support him. He has been reported missing from home twice this month already! The Police know him from Shoplifting from a local supermarket and have warned him that he he runs away with no reason again, then there is large possiblilty that he could be charged with wasting Police time. Social Services are now involved because he made an allegation about his dad smacking him.
He goes to one family in particular when he goes missing, we don't knw where they live so we are unable to go round and get him. We dont know this family, but on both occassions, they have lied about my stepson being there and havent let us know he was safe! I managed to speak to the mother once on the phone and shouted at her for not letting us know he was safe, since then, she wont communicate with it at all!
HELP!!! We are at our wits end and even Family support are struggling to support us!

[joeluke]

Send him to live with the family he goes to when he 'goes missing'

[starone]

How far into the teenage years is he. If he is eighteen you can give up and let him get on with it. Why let him spoil your life as well as his own? Next time he leaves home breathe a sigh of relief and forget him.

[fairycakes69]

Hi you don't say how old he is, has he always stayed with you ? It could be he is doing all this for attention or he feels angry and what he is doing is the only way he can deal with his feelings. Teenagers can be a nightmare and we tend to forget that they have a lot to deal with. The other family he goes to, you don't know what he has told them and the mother may feel she is helping by taking him in. I know it may sound strange but my eldest had a friend who told us all sorts about her parents and I used to let her stay, though I would phone and say where she was. I din't know who to believe and I would rather she had ours to stay at than wander the streets. At the time I thought I was helping, 7 years on and a bit wiser I think I shouldn't have interfered, but at the time you do what you think is right, the other family may feel they are helping. I know it is hard, we have gone through a lot with ours, and sometimes you just want to give up. In the end we backed down and stopped re-acting and that seemed to help. If the police charge him that may be enough to give him a fright. Good luck. You will get through this believe me.

[tillyh345]

Well said fairycakes I was about to say the same...take a step back and dont react as you always have and hopefully he will think twice about his usual behaviour.

[FlowerPetal]

Thanks guys!
Joeluke & Starbuckone....believe me...I'm TEMPTED!!! lol
Fairycakes69 & Tillyh345....thanks you. Hes 15yrs old and has lived with his Dad (my husband) since he got full custody at 18months old.
Ater the Social Services visit (which is a whole different story!) we all aggreed to try and allow him space to breathe which we did, but 2 weeks on, he seems to be slipping into his bad habits again. His Dad reminds him to try and stay on track which seems to work.
To this day we still dont know why he ran away because he won't tell us.
Anyway, we are grateful he's home and that things are moving in the right direction.....we had a CAF raised and heard this week and are due at a TAC meeting next month, so fingers crossed they can come up with something to help him.
FPXX