Atheist getting married in church

[milly143]

We were talking last night about the future, etc and weddings came up. He asked me where I would want to get married and as an atheist, I said I would feel a bit hypocritcal getting married in a church but it does form part of that dream wedding idea you have from childhood.

What do you think about atheists getting married in a church?

[LoftyLottie]

Well if you book a hotel, he will have to ask you!! ;o)

[LoftyLottie]

Pixi, I love mosques and I love the chants for prayers that echo over towns. The best flight I ever took was to Australia on a moslem airline where there were prayers at take off and landings and during the flight.

I find them so calming. And waking up to the sound of those mosque chants/prayers was wonderful.

I am not religious by the way!

[milly143]

ha ha. I might look up the availability of Westminster Abbey.

Exactly Pixi - I think when you are young you are conditioned to believe that weddings happen in Churches so that's where you should get married.

I might aswell get married in Mosque. The meaning of that would be the same as the meaning of getting married in a church. lol.

[LoftyLottie]

A double wedding on 29th April then Milly!!! :o)

I'll be watching it now - I wasn't going to bother!

[andy-hughes]

My situation is a little unusual.

My wife is a Catholic, and her two girls were raised as Catholics.

My wife had her first marriage annulled - this means that it is 'cancelled' by the Pope - literally, it has to have his approval. That means that in the eys of the Catholic Church, my wife has not been married before - even though she has two children from that marriage! That meant that when we got married, we were able to marry in our parish church - full Nuptial Mass - con-celebration (two priests) the whole nine yards, with the girls as bridesmades.

In my view, this is a perfect illustration of the ability of the Catholic Church to close its eyes to what it prefers not to see.

As preparation for the wedding, because I am not Catholic, I had to produce a copy of my babptism certificate to prove baptism, even though it was not a Catholic baptism, my parents were C of E.

I had to go for two 'chats' with our priest Father Tolkien (son of J.R.R.) about raising as Catholics any children from our marriage - and giving an assurace to that effect.

i am an aetheist, but I have no issue with my wife's faith, or with raising our third daughter as a Catholic - which we did. Father Tolkien never asked me if I believed in God, so it was never a question I had to wreslte with - not the question, but whether to lie to a priest or not. I think he knew my stance, and preferred to ignore it, and avoid any contention - again the Church is able to avoid such uncoomfrotable sitatuons when it chooses.

To answer your question - I married in church because my wife wanted it, and it was no problem to me. If neither of you believe, and feel uncomdrtable, then i would go, as suggested, with a civil ceremony in a nice venue - which will avoid you feeling uncomfrtable in any way.

[LoftyLottie]

Pixi, I have been in the Sultan of Brunei's personal mosque. I was staying as a guest of someone who worked for him (construction industry) and had a private tour round. I did make the mistake of standing on the prayer carpet. Even in my bare feet this was just not on!!

The Sultan had his personal escallator to the entrance - only he can travel on it!!

[milly143]

ha ha Pixi. I'm just picturing your inner fear of taking your boots off to find you have worn manky old socks.

Andy, that kind of confirms what I thought. Even though I was never chistened (bf was) I don't imagine I would find it too hard to get the permission to be married in a church. I've always sort of had the feeling a blind eye will be turned if it's suits. I've also heard the rules are a bit more lenient these days as it's becoming less common for people to get married in a church, so the church opens it arms to a wider group of people in the hope it brings them in.

[rowanwitch]

There are some wonderful venues for civil weddings.,,,old gothic halls, castles, caves, google national show caves theres one that has an underwater waterfall and a lake , but at the moment civil weddings have to be held indoors but they are in the process of changing this to allow for weddings on beaches, in gardens etc

[LoftyLottie]

Amazing place Pixi. That was 11 years ago and I believe it is getting more tourism now. I was lucky to be staying with a family who lived there and got shown around properly to places where tourists don't usually get to. I consider myself very lucky. Used Brunei as a stopover to and from Australia, so had a week there in total. It was the during the Sultan's birthday celebrations so even more lavish than usual.