Boy/ girlfriends staying.....

[tinkerbell23]

Were you allowed, or as a parent did you or do you allow it?

Friend and i were chatting about when we have kids if we would actually allow it? My mum did allow my ex to stay, however its really unlike her to allow it!

My friend wasnt allowed, or her sisters before her, now she has a kid, and her Bf is allowed, but my parents werent married when i was born (shock horror) and even though i was around, and they were engaged, my dad stilllll wasnt allowed to stay over :0)

[jd_1984]

Why the difference between sons and daughters?
My experience has found that the parents of the boy are more relaxed in their attitude where as parents of girls throw up the barriers and rarely drop them.
Also, in my experience it has depended on who else live in the household e.g younger siblings

[Prudie]

If my mum had left leaflets and contraception around for me I'd have died of horror. Sneaking around was part of the fun when I was young.
My daughter was not allowed to have her bf to stay in the same bed until very recently (she's 24 and been with him 3 years).

[DosAmigos]

My son's only allowed to have his g/f to stay if I can join in!

[NOX]

No problem whatsoever with my son's gf's staying over, all perfect;ly normal and natiral a thing to happen. My eldest daughter is only just 13, but when she has a boyfriend later along the line the same thing will apply. You have to respect your children and their choice of partner, and not force them to behave quesitonably in seedy environments where they might potentially put themselves in danger, far better and safer for them to grow their realtionship in the safety of their own home where there will be no pressure for anything they don't want to do to take place.

[tinkerbell23]

Thanks all- i was out at work, i like your comment NOX xx

[anneasquith]

nox.. at what age would you allow your daughters bf to stay over ?

[lcg]

i'm with zeuhl and others. my son's gf has been staying since they were 'acceptably' serious and legal. we are all too up tight about sex, contraception etc., but unless you do the responsible thing by them...they will find irresponsible ways around draconian rules. is was a bit weird when his sex life blatantly became better than ours, tho! but...they were young, in love, and at it like rabbits. most funny when they appeared flushed, flustered and with clothing on inside out/upside down etc! but...as a parent you must never breeze in rooms unannounced...and learn to knock! (the alternative doesn't bear thinking about) x

[NOX]

My daughter is more grown up than most grown ups, very level headed and not the sort of person to do anything lightly, therefore as soon as she is legally old enough to make that determination then I'm happy to respect her wishes and decision on the matter. I think with kids you have to view each one on an individual basis, luckily my kids have all been pretty sensible and not taken the mick with the freedoms and respect they are afforded, hence they are afforded them, so far without negative effects..

[tinkerbell23]

Lcg i like your comment too i hope im as level headed as a parent, sex happens end of! Legal and responsible....can u let my mum know what knocking is? X

[anneasquith]

tink.....you know what knocking is....................someones at the door!

[lcg]

also...you can't say to kids or others dear in your life: don't do this; or: i hate that...it only lends itself to screaming fandangoes and a crappy home life. as with anything, you have to try and talk, compromise and respect the fact that your children are no longer children...they are young adults with wise and dangerous opinions of their own! but god...it's difficult at that age!!! x

[tinkerbell23]

Lol anne, but my mum seems incapable of chapping my door!!! Breeezes in ....very annoying!!........lol x

[anneasquith]

chapping,,, lol. padlock your bedroom ?

[tinkerbell23]

Threatned MANY a time anne ...most recently yesterday when i rolled over , opened one eye and she has her hand in my bloody bottom drawer raking for something...not on! X