So paranoid...but with good reason!

[xprincessx]

Hiya All. I've been with my bf for 5 years now. Seven months ago we went through a really rough patch, always arguing, and decided to go on a 'break' and spend some time apart. His idea not mine! During this time I was a wreck, very emotional and it broke my heart. I tried to give him the space he wanted and he came back. Things went from bad to great and we were like a new couple. I later on found out that during the 'break' he kissed his ex. I was devasted and was so weak that I took him back. Unfortunatly he still has to speak to his ex as they have a son together. I was depressed for a good few months afterwards and its only been recently that I have started feeling happy again. I feel like I am constantly trying to please him and hate that I feel I need too. He has told me that I don't need to try so hard, he loves me and a month or so ago he said he releases that he wants to marry me. We are saving towards a house next year. Things are so good at the mo and I am happy but I worry and still get so worried and paranoid about things. How can I calm down a bit and just go with the flow? I want to stop panicing but I'm constantly scared of getting my heart broken again. I always thought that I was a strong person but this has knocked me for six!!! Anyone else had a similar experience? How did it turn out? Thanks.

[ummmm]

It was a kiss...when you were on a break. Try and forget about it....it's really not worth the stress.

[karenmac60]

Exactly - you weren't together. He could've slept with his ex (which wouldn't have been any of your business), but he didn't. It was only a kiss - don't let it destroy your relationship.

[xprincessx]

I know! Its just very difficult to take when you love someone so much.

[xprincessx]

when i say break though, we were still together just getting a bit of space, e.g. he moved home. cooling off for a bit!

[ummmm]

I think breaks are more about not knowing how you feel about someone. Not knowing if you still want to be in the relationship. He realised he did want to be with you...It could have been that kiss that made him realise...

[karenmac60]

He could still have done a lot worse and he had the decency to own up. Let it go.

[NOX]

Really Princess these ladies have offered you very good advice, it was a kiss, you were having a break, it's nothing and certainly not something to be basing your current behaviour on. Just relax and enjoy the fact that he's realised he loves you and it's you he wants to spend the rest of his life with as jealousy and paranoia are very hard bedfellows to live with for all concerned.

[xprincessx]

Thank you for your answers. It takes some external advice sometimes to get out of the rut that I've created and look on the bright side! Thank you x

[JimmyCooper]

If he told you it was a kiss then rest assured it was more than that. it was his idea for a break??? Hmmmm go off and sow a few wild oats and then back to the old faithful

[Katie~77]

Your paranoia could end up pushing him away. You need to chill out!

[JimmyCooper]

Hi Katie it's REV lol How are you? Long time no speak

[Katie~77]

Ooooh hello you!!! Im good thanks. How's you? It's been ages!!!x :o)

[JimmyCooper]

[email protected]

[Notveryhappy]

I'm afraid i disagree. A break doesn't instantly make it ok to sleep with someone else or even kiss them. If that was the case for him, then to me it would just be an excuse to sleep around.

It was just a kiss, but as it's an ex also, i'm sure this makes you feel worse. If you are to move on and be happy, I can only advise that you try and put it behind you. It's still not nice what he did, but it's not as bad as sleeping with her.

I hope you work it out.

[puddle-duck]

Just enjoy what you both have just now. He admitted that he kissed his ex while you were on a break, he didn't have to tell you that. The fact that he is with you & says he wants to marry you & not his ex says a hell of a lot.

Try to get a hold of the jealousy it could end up pushing him away. Life is too short & if this guy is offering you a chance at happiness then take it, if you don't you could end up spending the rest of your life wondering " what if ". good luck, hope it all goes well for you.