Wanting what you can't have?

[Betty Boop x]

Is it just me or do other people experience wanting a person more, the more you know you can't have them?

I'm not talking about unattainable people such as celebrities but people who you are attracted to and have feelings for in 'the real world'.

For example if you like someone, then you find out they already have a girlfriend/boyfriend, instead of this making you 'forget' about them because they are taken, it increases your feelings for them and makes you want them more.

They seem more of an attractive prospect because they are out of reach maybe?

Any thoughts on this because i've always wondered about it?

x

[Stinkerbell]

I know what you mean.  Its really done my head in over the last few years!

[flashpig]

I agree totally.

A few times I have been friends with someone for years, and then suddenly they start looking attractive once they have started going out with someone.

To a certain extent with me though there is an element of "Ooh, I didn't know you had a romantic relationship side to you. I haven't ever thought that you might fancy people."

So for me it has not been wanting what I can't have, it's regret at not realising which I might have been able to have, and then getting maybe a bit jealous that someone thought to take the opportunity first.

[Flangella]

It's strangely nice to know we aren't alone in this :)

I have found myself attracted to one of my boyfriend's friends recently and although I know nothing would ever happen between us, I find myself getting jealous when he talks about the kind of women he finds attractive. It just makes me want him more, even though I can't have him. And in some ways, wouldn't. I do love my boyfriend very much and have not stopped fancying him in the slightest.

I think sometimes it's because we're conditioned to think having feelings about someone else when we/they are attached is wrong. But I don't think it is. Having the feelings is perfectly natural, it's how you choose to cope with them.

[Cockney_si]

It's a natural thing but can be very destructive at times and especially if the boyfriend or girlfriend of the boyfriend or girlfriend finds out because of all the stalker-type attention that lies in that territory.

Then you must can it and move on.

[ELVIS68]

Everyone has a crush on someone they know they can`t have, It`s human nature, But admit it you would`nt like it if this person meant nothing to you would you,so enjoy your imaginations and go no further!