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Maybe it is still linked to losing Mum as she had dementia on top of other things and it was extremely distressing and I wondered if we could have managed her care differently at the time (18 months ago). I miss having someone around the house as company, not as in a relationship, but thats not easy to put right. Is that being lonely? I've been divorced for many years and have always been quite happy until the boys left home. I have plenty of friends and keep busy but at the moment theres no enjoyment in any thing and I'm on the verge of tears a lot of the time. Anyway, I'm getting carried away here but its helped to put things down in writing! Thanks everyone!