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No best answer has yet been selected by confusedpink. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Well I found this in Hansard of all places quoted by a Lord in a debate about smoking .. but no nearer finding what the song was !
"My teeth are all yellow and so is my tongue, I breathe through a kipper, they call it a lung, but I'll give up the habit, I will even yet, when I've had just one more cigarette".
There was a famous Health Education Board for Scotland (HEBS) advert by a band called
Stinx - Why Do You keep on running boy.
It's a Spice girls parody and was quite successful in Scotland. Sadly, it was too catchy and became a hit for the wrong reasons, but it still emphasizes the meaning when you see a Mel B Lookalike clutching at her heart and nearly being sick in the street while chasing her bloke. It was releases as a single and you should be able to get a copy quite easily.
You can see the video here
http://www.hebs.com/tobacco/towers/index.cfm
Click the top left floating telly.
Smoke! Smoke! Smoke!(That Cigarette):
Now I'm a fellow with a heart of gold
And the ways of a gentleman I've been told
Kind-of-a-guy that wouldn't even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met
The guy that invented that cigarette
I'd murder that son-of-a gun in the first degree
It ain't cuz I don't smoke 'em myself
and i don't reckon that it'll hinder your health
I smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet
But nicotine slaves are all the same
at a pettin' party or a poker game
Everything gotta stop while they have a cigarette
CHORUS
Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff until you smoke yourself to death.
Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait,
But you just gotta have another cigarette.
In a game of chance the other night
Old dame fortune was good and right
The kings and queens they kept on comin' around
Aw, I was hittin' em good and bettin' 'em high
But my bluff didn't work on a certain guy
He kept callin' and layin' his money down
See, he'd raise me then I'd raise him
and I'd say to him buddy ya gotta sink or swim
Finally called me but didn't raise the bet!
--Hmmph! I said Aces Full Pal -- I got you!
He said, "I'll pay up in a minute or two
But right now, i just gotta have another cigarette."
CHORUS
Now the other night I had a date
with the cutest little gal in any state
A high-bred, uptown, fancy little dame
She said she loved me and it seemd to me
That things were sorta like they oughtta be
So hand in hand we strolled down lovers lane
She was a long way from a chunk of ice
And our pettin' party was goin' real nice
And I got an idea I might have been there yet
So I give her a kiss and a little squeeze
Then she said, "Travis, Excuse me Please
But I just gotta have a cigarette."
CHORUS
re: dyli795, this is by Sheila Hancock who was married to John 'Inspector Morse' Thaw.
Meanwile, back to the theme, check this one out, says it all really...
SMOKIN' by Joe Dolce
Cigarettes in the morning,
Cigarettes in the night,
Cigarettes in your face,
'Till your face ain't looking right.
Cigarettes in your mouth,
Cigarettes on your lips,
Cigarettes in your fingers
Make those yellow fingertips.
Do you mind if I smoke?
Do you mind if I choke?
Do you mind if I just light up a fag?
Do you mind if I huff?
Do you mind if I puff?
Do you mind I just roll over and gag?
That old Surgeon General,
He ain't no quack,
He spells it out with out a doubt
On the front of every cigarette pack.
Smoking causes Emphysema,
Now just stop and think,
While you're wheezin', with all that diseasin',
Friend, you're going to stink.
Do you mind if I smoke?
Do you mind if I choke?
Do you mind if I just light up a fag?
Do you mind if I huff?
Do you mind if I puff?
Do you mind I just roll over and gag?
If you really want to inhale,
If you really want to die,
Put your mouth on my exhaust pipe,
And stop wasting time.
We're have a big cremation,
You'll be smokin' all the way,
We'll gather up all your ashes
And put them in your favourite ashtray.
Do you mind if I smoke?
Do you mind if I choke?
Do you mind if I just light up a fag?
Do you mind if I huff?
Do you mind if I puff?
Do you mind I just roll over and gag?