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self confidence and people skills.

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nanunanu | 16:39 Wed 12th Oct 2005 | People & Places
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i see other people that are larger than life and think 'wish that was me', since my father left in my childhood i have had sever peoblems with people skills and sticking up for myself. I would love to be come more assured and self confident but dont know how to go about it

people probably think im stuck up or weird but it is just the fact that I AM SHY :(
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Like you I have suffered shyness and lack of confidence all my life (and I am now over 50) but it has not stopped me doing well.

Even someone like Ronnie Barker, who sadly died recently, was a very shy and personal man who managed to get to the top of his profession.

Do not look at other people and say I wish i was like them. We are all different and all have our good points.

Anyway, often people who are large than life have their personal problems, look at George Best, Gazza, Kate Moss, Gallagher brothers (oasis), Blunkett, so make  the most of what you have. 

why would people think you stuck up or weird? Some people make a lot of noise, some don't, but neither is weird. I wonder if it isn't you, rather than other people, who is being hard on yourelf? I suspect you're a better and nicer person than you think.

Sorry if I'm underestimating your problems - do you have specific ones, like a bullying boss or something? They may need specific solutions. But I think real self-confidence is more a matter of coming to accept yourself for what you are, rather than wishing you were someone else.

We need all sorts of people in this world, wouldnt it be horrible if we were all loud, confident and gregarious? (spelling??)

Your personality IS you, and no matter what you think, I'm sure there are people who love you for who you are.  Dont aspire to be like anyone else because the people in question are probably aspiring to be like someone else too.

If you can, do what I've done and do a drama course. Nobody, including me, could imagine me doing this as I'm very shy, but when you'r ein a small group of people all actine daft together you stop being shy- I promise you!

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