what to say when withtracting a statement

[sattty]

Hi all need some quick advice got a meeting tomorrow to withtract a statment I made against my partner due to a domestic in time I have realised that I made a big mistake calling out cops and did it in the heat of the moment and because this wasn't the first time it's happened I've seperated from him and intend to stay that way but want to withtract for my son's sake and for the fact that I lost my dad last year and have a backward minded family and don't want anything ruining my dad's name and I know that when my son grows up they are likely to tell him that i was the reason that he went to prison and thats not what i want or want him hating me when he is older please can someone help me

[welshlibranr]

satty!......not your mistake!.......if you were subjected to domestic violence!.......you did what you had to to!.........your son will realise that!....

[Buenchico]

The policy of the Crown Prosecution Service is that, whenever possible, they'll continue with a prosecution in a domestic violence case even when the victim seeks to withdraw their statement. So attempting to do so won't necessarily help your partner but it could land you in a lot of trouble yourself. Please see my post (and link) here:
http://www.theanswerb...0.html#answer-5757428

Chris

[welshlibranr]

satty, not sure, but I think that nowdays, once a statement is made, it can't be retracted!.......so it will stand!.............

[starone]

For goodness sake woman, why dio you put up with such behaviour. Get some backbone, and get him punished and then get rid of him - you will be much better off without him.

[welshlibranr]

have to agree with starbuck!..............so true!.............

[Buenchico]

Welsh:
As I mentioned in the post that I've linked to above, the police and the CPS tend to ask questions about WHY a statement is being withdrawn. If the person who made the statement simply says that the assault never happened, they risk prosecution for wasting police time. But, far more seriously, if the CPS takes the view that the victim is now trying to protect the offender, they risk prosecution for attempting to pervert the course of justice. (That nearly always results in a prison sentence).

[starone]

I might as well save my breath welshy - she will completely ignore me and go back to getting bashed about. Wonder why I bother sometimes, but this kind of thing does so annoy me.

[welshlibranr]

starbuck and Chris!........this is what happens all the time!.............women who are victims believe that they deserve to be so!...............very sad!............they have no confidience, and so are always going to be victims!.................even more sadly, this is their comfort zone, that's where they have always been!.............

[sattty]

Hey thanks for the advice guys trust me i don't want him back i've realised how much better i am without him emotionally, mentally, finacially I don't think I have been this happy in a long time and as i said the only reson i want to withdraw is because of my son and my dad its got nothing to do with the fact that i want to save him i said when making my original statement that he should get sent to prison and hopefully he gets slapped about a bit so he knows what it feels like I know that sounds cruel but its how i felt at the time now its all about my son.

[jackthehat]

I think your dad would be more proud of having a daughter with a bit of backbone and who wants to teach her own son that actions have consequences.....

[bednobs]

you are kidding yourself if you think you are doing it "for your son"
When he grows up and beats HIS partner up (because you've taught him that this is the way adults behave without fear of recrimination) how are you going to look him in the eye?
You'll never know now what yopur dad would have wanted, but i very much wonder if it was for the person who abused his little girl to get away with it.

besides, your husband was the one that did this and the cps are prosecuting him. Nothing to do with you anymore

[China Doll]

My dad would want to see someone punished if they ever dared lay a finger for me. I would imagine most dads would feel the same way, and be proud that their child has the balls to stand up for what's right frankly.

[rowanwitch]

I'm guessing there is a different culture involved here and there is a sense your father might be 'dishonored' by having a daughter who has not been obedient or whatever... bad things in cultures have changed throughout history by people making a stand...it's a harder path for you perhaps but one you know deep down is right... there is however no harm in writing a letter saying that while he should be punished you hope he is punished in such a way that gives him a chance to learn from his mistakes etc you saying you hope he gets to prison etc won't be taken into account anyway I expect

[sattty]

thank you for all the advice guys so glad i found this website well i withtracting and still seperated and it feels great not having to be questioned all the time about where i go and what i do and how much money has got spent it feels AMAZING!!!