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Things kids say...

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B00 | 18:27 Fri 10th Jun 2011 | ChatterBank
33 Answers
That frighten the crap out of you.

Mine was playing in her bedroom about half hour ago, suddenly I heard...

"MUUUUUUUM', come watch me, i can come down the stairs with my eyes closed". I shot off the sofa like my backside was on fire, luckily before she embarked on this latest escapade. What have yours said or even done that have aged you in a matter of seconds?
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My two year old grandaughter shocked me the other weekend by calling me a f*cking idiot!! No lie.

She did not know what she was saying though, no excuse. She was severly admonished.
The most terrifying thing my son ever asked me was during a World Cup football match on TV.

He asked "Dad, what's offside?"
Back in 2006 there was a 'W*nkathon" (seriously, I kid you not) and a friend of mine was seriously contemplating taking part. She mentioned it to me over a curry in a restaurant in front of her five year old son who then asked "What's w*nking?", his mother gave a direct to the point matter of fact answer and the conversation moved on without so much as a "tee hee hee".
Long time ago, picking up 2yr old from childminder to find she had at reciting to mrs Prim and her neighbour Mrs Diedwondering her knowledge and understanding of which people she knew had fannies, and which had willies.
Oh the blushes....
"Dad don't be mad at me,,I'm pregnant" Added about 5yrs in 5 seconds
When I was in junior school I remember causing a bit of a stir that I never really got at the time concerning some some powder that another girl had found in the playground and had been pushing me to try. I really couldn't understand the extreme reaction.
So what was the direct to the point answer (just in case I need it to get out of a sticky situation)?
Ok, not scary but "swallow me up in hole" funny. My step son has significant learning difficulties and has communication issues thus he uses quite babish language sometimes. One contact weekend he threw an absolute screaming hissy tantrum in the local shop and at the top of his voice shouted "I am not sleeping with you anymore dad".
My biggest nightmare (and there have been many) with my son, was when he went through the 'lets say exactly what I see' stage. We were sitting in the clinic dentist, which only saw kids up to the age of 10 and disabled young adults. We were in the waiting room and a lady brought her disabled daughter in. I could see my 3 year old son looking at her, I was smiling nervously at the lady and her daughter, trying to occupy my son in a reading book, but he kept looking up at the girl.

I was praying, please let them take us in NOW for our turn. I was talking ten to the dozen at him about anything and everything, trying to distract him, then at last they called us, phew, thank god for that, just as we got up, he looked at me and said 'Mum why has that lady got a wonky mouth' - I could have died ! I apologised to the girl and her Mum, but she said no need, she totally understood.
As far as I can remember Mike, it went like this...
"Mummy, what's w*nking"
"...it's playing with your willie to get a nice feeling"
"...oh"
(conversation ends)
Mum 'What's a willy?'
Nice one AP.
DEN i dunno f i can handle your son!!! hahahaha

i announced once that my friend in school had told me to put fingers ineach side of my mouth and say my dad is a banker....which i did. and i had NO idea what it was lol.
x

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