Patronising Health Visitors

[sherrardk]

Is it part of the training for Health Visitors that they have to be patronising? Just had two round to do the 3 1/4 development checks on the 'twins' and I just wanted to tell them to get out. And they've thrown my routine all out whack!

[Lore]

What happened, Sher?

[carolegif]

They obviously haven't changed since my daughter was little then and that was 40 years ago. I was told not to let her cry as her weight would go down so we had 10 months of no sleep! In the end, after my husband fell asleep at work twice I took her to the doctors who said put her down and leave her! He said if the health visitors say you mustn't leave her at night then phone them up at 2am, 4am etc when the baby was screaming, he said that they would soon tell me the same thing to let her cry for a while!
When I had my son a health visitor said that one side of his face was fatter than the other and it was serious - again it was nothing wrong!

[piggling]

They told me my daughter had a stutter as she was saying h-horse, c-cat etc when being shown pictures. That's what it had on each page and she was reading!!

[nellypope]

I feel yer pain . . . I really do! I would say that their medical knowledge was probably gained from the back of a Lemsip box. Useless! Personally I feel the same applies to Midwives!

[Ankou]

most people have been there done that. you'll find plenty of mums and grannies (and sometimes dads) in the playground equally patronising and telling you to 'do this' 'do that' 'don't be so silly' 'i know best' 'what i do is', i think its just how you feel about it. its not just hw's.

[fliptheswitch]

It always amazes me that all the health visitors I've ever seen have never had children.
The first health visitor I had told me off for using talc, then told me off for swaddling my son in a blanket, made me feel awful for bottle feeding... etc, etc. We can all open a text book, just wait until you have children yourself, before you start with the patronising!

[sherrardk]

I have five children and a brain - they just wind me up, with their stupid, sing-songy way of speaking. Daughter wouldn't do the eye test and she didn't even try with my son, in fact, she didn't even speak to him. Felt more like a check-up on my parenting skills than on the twins' development. I also want a referral for my son in case he needs a statement when he starts school and the HV with 'special knowledge' was as much use as a chocolate bloody tea pot!

[sherrardk]

Let's just hope the physiotherapist (at 4 this afternoon) is a bit better!

[Lore]

:( that's not good, you should arrange an appointment with your GP re: the statement. - the sooner you get the ball rolling for that, the better.

I think I'm one of the lucky ones who has a HV who is very down to earth and has young children of her own.

[sherrardk]

Thanks Lore, I will get an appointment with one of the nice doctors (not the horrible witch who asked me if I had heard of the morning after pill when she saw me with all so the children together!).

[albaqwerty]

Sherr, I'm sitting here with my jaw dropping. The GP said what ?!!!!?!!!?!!

GP = grealy pretentious...

First HV was great, second one was hopeless. My son was doing tasks usinig his left hand 'you'll need to discourage that' 'Being left-handed is no use'

Ahem, couch, You're s[eaking to a left-hander (stupid witch) another test he refused to do so she put him down as un-cooperative. I told her he's not a performing seal. (She had no children either)

[albaqwerty]

Excuse the typos please, I'm getting all aerated.

[tara20]

The best advice I ever got was from the nurse in maternity.
She told to all new mums not to worry about doing something wrong because 'all children grow up in spite of their mothers!'

[sherrardk]

Hi Alba - I was gobsmacked when she said it (although I thought of loads of witty responses afterwards).

When I had my second child I felt a bit 'sad' and I explained to the HV how I was worried that I wouldn't be able to love both of my child enough and she said 'What's wrong, do you think we are going to take them into care?' - note to self, never listen to a HV!